I'm so scared, please help

I come home from a fun, happy sleepover. To what, you may ask? My mom on the phone, with my therapist, talking about possibly admitting me back; to the hospital. I think I may kill someone. Not literally, but you know what I mean. She then called my nutritionist, and talked for awhile. And since I was sad and knew I need to gain, I ate half a box of Trefoils and some hot cocoa. Maybe that was a bad idea, because now my mom thinks I'm going to be bulimic or something. But like I would throw up! That's so nasty. Just because your body does it, it's fine, but if you make yourself; that's nasty. And it can disintegrate your uvula, and decay your teeth. Yeah, that's gross. Don't do it, I've seem my fair share of pictures on the web. So can you help me? I'm going to have a "conference" (most likely them discussing me getting in while I cry or something stupid) on Monday. How do I gain so much weight without it looking suspicious?!

-Unknown Athena

I think it's Spring

Yup. It's that glorious time again; Spring. The Dofodils are blooming, the purple and white flowers that I-can't-remember-the-name-of-it's are popping up, and it's sunny. Nice, and sunny. I even have my piggies out. I just love my personal lawn mowers :).

You know what I love about springtime? Track and Field. A.k.a. the best sport ever. I love the high jump, it's my favorite event. I got up to 4'6 last year. Me and this other girl were the only girls left at that point, with about 6 guys who were super tall. But now it's hard to love track.

Why, you may ask? Because I have yet to tell my nutritionist I'm in track. She'll probably flip when she hears I'm doing some form of "strenuous activity". It's fun, and I love it. It's a good excuse to get some fresh air. I'm even typing on my patio in the backyard. Hopefully my laptop's battery can keep up. For the past few days, I've been thinking of ways to break it to her. But what if she makes me quit? Or if I lost weight doing it?! I'm so nervous, even though she had said "I don't have any expectations for you". But what the heck does that mean?!?!?! So if I loose a pound she won't get mad? Or she just doesn't think I'm capable of gaining weight (even though it's kinda true...)? And why do I feel like I've had this rant to you guys (or girls... Whatever...) in a previous post? Meh...

What should I do? I don't want to give up the sport I love, but I don't want to go back to the hospital. Please help me, I'm basically desperate. And no, all you weird people out there, I'm not desperate in that way!!

-Unknown Athena

P.S. I had to re-pot, well, re-cup, the apple plant. It's growing so well! I put an old pencil in it to keep it from bending. I'm so happy!!

If only if only...

... I could block this stupid thought from my head. It's so ridiculous, and I guess I have to tell you since I mentioned it; I like someone. Yeah, crushes. I get why they're called, crushes. They can legit, crush you, even if they don't know it. Looking at those two, it makes me want to crawl into a hole and cry. I know it's all acting (did I tell you guys I'm in my school's musical? I'm an old lady, while everyone else gets to look cute and young-ish. Grr...), and plus the guy's also a "lady-killer" (taken from the script), but I can't block out that ______ thought!!!! This is like, not nice. It's not even real jealousy, because they're only acting, right? They don't have real feelings for each other, right? :(

Oh no, I'm getting worried. And when I'm worried it's hard to eat. I was worried at practice so badly I just let my friend eat half of my sushi, and I need that sushi. I don't want to go back to the hospital (or as I like to call it, Hell). I want to do track. I want to go to camp. I want to go to Spain. I may not want to gain weight, but looking "big" is better than not being seen at all, I guess.

Why is it that I can't be in control? Sadly I'm so passive; I let people practically walk all over me. Help me with this, it's so hard to do alone. How can I refuse? My friends are pretty much as important as family, if not more. How do you say "no" to the ones so close to you?

-Unknown Athena

What comes up must come down... To like, China!

No racism on China! It's just an expression! You know, like when you were a little kid and thought you could dig to China? Yeah, that's what I meant. Annnnnnnnyways, this post has nothing to do with China, but I needed a cool title to go with this. Moving on...
My life is currently a hell-hole, place, whatever. I had to call the police earlier today on my brother because he was getting crazy about not wanting to get off his xBox. He was screaming, crying, cursing, threatening, breaking stuff... My mom tried to break his xBox, but sadly failed and it works like a charm. My brother broke his cell phone, which was pretty broken before. The police officer talked to him for awhile, but none of the stuff she said seemed to get into his head. A few minutes later, he was back on, screaming into the screen, as if those pixel-ized soldiers actually existed. I sense an addiction... Hmm... After that, I felt depressed and hung out with some friends. (Hey, that's better then crying in my room, right?) Now I'm just waiting for my mom and dog (they're at Petsmart doing that dog-training thing) to come home so I can make dinner, yes, I make the dinners about 75% of the time now, and go see my friend perform at the library.

Any suggestions to calm down my ADHD-anxiety-stressed-twin brother?

-Unknown Athena

Going that Extra Mile

Is it worth it? Is it worth the extra effort? Does the "+" or "-" really make a difference? I have no clue. This project for social studies is killing me; killing me. I have to do a full citation for everything (thank God for Easybib.com), and find everything there is to know on the topic I'm researching for our American Dream project. For whatever reason, I chose gay rights. Sadly, there isn't much out there on gay rights. Have any suggestions?

Yay for lunch period!
-Unknown Athena