Off to Camp!

My week has been fun and busy. Busy and fun. Fun fun fun, and busy, busy, busy. This past week, I was in Maine, which was fantastic. My friends, S, Z and T, let's call them, came with me, and we had a blast. We went shopping in Portland, and went to the beach a lot. The water's so cold there! And while it was in the 70s and 80s in Maine, it was in the 90s and 100s in New York. HAH!

I came home on Friday, and this morning I visited my twin brother J at his camp in MA. We went out to lunch with our parents and my dog, and we found Alice's Resteraunt (the one from that Woody Guthry song). It was cool. I got stationary. Then we went to my dad's house and had dinner with my grandpa who recently moved in. He's been in poor health, but he seemed a lot more happy and energetic, probably because my dog was there. He likes dogs. He should get one when his health improves.

Around 8 was when I got home, and because my camp doesn't offer computers or internet access, this shall be my last post for a month, unless in two weeks I can visit the town's library during Visiting Day and sneak a post...

Can't wait for camp tomorrow! Hope you all have a wonderful, happy and healthy summer! My goal is to build a bit of muscle in camp. There's tons to do, so I'll never be caught chilling in my bunk ;)

-Unknown Athena

Feeling Fat in NYC

Hey everybody! So today I went to NYC, because my mom and my aunt were going to see a play. They have some subscription thing to see a play every month, because they flipping love the theatre. I came along to hang out with my cousin whom I haven't seen in forever. She's an EMS, and is pretty much always on the job. We hung out while our moms watched their play. They said it was about some guy who had a 6 foot 3 imaginary friend that was a bunny... Strange, but okay. So my cousin and I went to the big Forever 21 with 5 floors, and "window shopped" because all the things I tried on didn't fit me and the one shirt I liked didn't have my size. Go figure, we weren't meant to be :(. Then we went to Godiva where my other cousin works and got two free chocolates. Once we left the nice air-conditioned chocolate haven, we went to Aeropostale because my cousin (who is 22 now) wanted to get shirts. When Aeropostale had a sale, GO. The shirts were 2 for $10, and usually $30 each. I am not going to shell out that kind of money for a shirt worth less than $10, so it was good. I didn't get anything, but my cousin got some stuff. After that, we went to Sephora where I got some Hello Kitty perfume and my birthday gift from them, a fresh lip set. It smells really good. I can't wait to use them!

Once we were done with that, we met back up with our moms and my cousin who works at Godiva came and we ate some Thai food. It was good, but really filling. I had chicken Pad Thai, which is like full flavor and fat city. I ate a lot because my mom was watching me the whole time like I would die if I didn't eat every flipping bite. Then she made me have some sticky rice which tasted like nothing, and some mango ice cream that was more like ice than cream. At least we got to go to Sanrio afterwards. My old Hello Kitty lunchbox is "too small" (a.k.a. normal sized, but my mom, who rules my life, says I need another one), I needed another one. I got a cute hemp-like bag to serve as a new lunch box. It's cute. I like it.

Once I came home and walked the pup, my mom drilled me into eating half a bag of Nestle Dark Chocolate Morsels. I feel sick now. I was never a bulemic, but I want to throw up right now. I just feel like total $h!t. Ever had one of those moments? Yeah, that's me right now. After a real good day, it kind of stinks to feel this way.

I've been having the worst sleeping habits recently. I've gone to bed around two am and waking up between 10 and 12 noon. Maybe when my mom falls asleep (she's a deep sleeper), I can get in a quick workout in the basement. Hopefully the dog doesn't bark or anything. She's not much of a music pup. I don't understand her at all.

Hope you all had a spectacular day. Stay strong!

-Unknown Athena

Tell It Like It Is!

I follow lots of blogs, and even though some of them can be a bit dreary and unhelpful towards my recovery, they are so true! I was reading one blog, called (Size) Zero Intentions, and one of her posts made me almost jump up and want to shout and run around and do happy dances. Though I have never experienced these "haters", I think they should leave. Now. Silent haters, I don't mind. Hate in your mind, not on the internet, or to anyone or anywhere else for that matter. Click here to read the post. She should get a cyber hug for that. I'm actually a pretty shy person in real life, but on the internet, I'm a lot more out there, if that makes any sense. I'm not as afraid to speak my mind as in school or at home where my twin brother judges me like there's no flipping tomorrow. I've probably said this a million times, but we are polar opposites. He's sporty, and I'm lazy. I get good grades, he's average. We're different.

On another (and happier) note, I got to finally go swimming at my friend's pool. It's been really really hot, so when she called me, I practically wanted to run to her house, even though it's on the other side of town. So I went swimming, and got some exercise in, even though I had biked a few miles before in the terrible heat. Hopefully I can build some muscle in camp so when volleyball season starts, maybe I'll be a starting player on the team. Only 6 are allowed on the court at a time, so it's a real jungle trying to get the coach to both like you and think you're good.

Don't die in the heat my darlings xx

-Unknown Athena

P.S. I feel lonely sometimes... Don't be afraid to comment! I like to know that someone out there reads this :)

Feeling Better, Along With Other Things...

Completed my first Final of high school! This morning (at 8 in the morning) I had to go to school just to take a Global Final. To my surprise, I thought it was fairly easy. But, for all I know, I could have screwed everything up and got a zero.

As you can see, I'm kinda, sorta obsessed with memes at the moment. They're quite funny, sometimes. If any of you are on Instagram, follow edmemes . It's my wonderful take on my eating disorder. Follow at will :3

Also, I just got back from a bike ride with my twin brother. We don't usually get along all too well, but today, I guess we were on good terms and decided to take the bike trail. The bike trail in my town goes from one park to the other. It's around 5 miles altogether, but because my brother needed to go to basketball practice (he's crazy. going from biking to basketball with no break? idiot...), we only did around 4.5. Because I love my memes, here's another one, just for you:

Enjoy your Day!

-Unknown Athena

A Won Failure for Me!

Hey guys! My week has been decent so far. I have a science test 8th period that I barely studied for, and an outline for an essay for Romeo and Juliet due tomorrow. Yesterday, I went to a track meet, home, us against the town next to us. Their guys were really fast, and wrecked our guys. Our cgirls killed their girls. I did high jump and discus. For high jump, I jumped 3'6", which sucked. My seed is 4'6"... For discus, my best was 48'8". I'm not sure which place I got, but I know I wasn't last! My twin brother did well in his events too. I'm so jealous of him; he can literally eat ANYTHING he wants to eat, from salad to cookies to oil-drenched pizza and steak, and still doesn't gain weight! So many guys think that a girl's dream is to meet their perfect man. BULLSHIT. A girl's number 1 dream is to be able to eat anything they want and not get fat!

-Unknown Athena

Week of Hell

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. And sorry for saying sorry so many freaking times. I seriously need to stop saying sorry so much : Anyways, I'm in school, in Arts & Crafts, a.k.a. the easy A class. I literally have a 97 average without trying. It's the same with my 98 average in Spanish, but that might be because I have a sucky teacher who is super slow. At least I don't have him today. But this week will be hell, let me tell you.

I have three known tests this week, all on the same freaking day!! On Thursday, first period (normally second period, but it's going to be a double even day, so...) I have a Geometry Triterm, which has the same concept of a midterm, only in the third quarter (even though it's the fourth quarter now...). After that, I have band. Then lunch. After lunch, I'm faced with a Spanish exam, which would be easy if I would actually memorize the meanings of the words and didn't have to translate English into Spanish. Of course my teacher would do it the hard way : After that, I'm hit with an Earth Science unit test on Earth's energy. Two or three weeks ago (I was on break last week, but I'm still counting it), I missed a day of school because I felt like total crap, and my evil teacher decides to start a whole new unit. BULL. ABSOLUTE BULL. So Thursday is going to make me want to restrict, maybe even cut. At some wierd Pampered Chef thing my mom made me go to earlier, I somehow won a paring knife. Of course I won the knife of all things. So now whenever I go into my room, I see the shiny new knife with it's maroon handle and white paper blade-cover.

On another note, last night was hell. My brother was being more like a four year old than a fourteen year old, and got my mom upset again. So they started yelling at each other and my mom was crying and he made a hole in the wall and I got so upset that I went to my friend S's house, running the whole mile-ish there. Then we watched Glee and played Smash Bros on her Wii, which cheered me up :)

Stay strong Goddesses!

-Unknown Athena

A little Goddess Has Returned to Mt. Olympus :(

R.I.P. Miley, the world's kindest guinea pig. May she enjoy her new life in the heavens with her past friends, Jack-Jack and Pizza.


Born: June 27th, 2006
Died: January 28th, 2012 11:45 p.m.

This picture was taken at the beginning of the summer of 2011. She was always such a cutie :)

I'm gonna miss her so much. No, she was not named after Miley Cyrus. I swear she wasn't! I remember the day I got her like it was just yesterday...
It was the beginning of my 4th grade year; me and my good friend Julianna went to the pet store one town over to look at the guinea pigs. The first guinea pig I held was cute, but he had bitten my mom, so she said no to that one. The next guinea pig I held was Miley. She was cute and skittish. I bought her for $30.00, and she was worth every single penny. Because I wanted her to be comfortable with her new home, I came late to the pumpkin scooping that my girl scout troop helped out at. She was small, and always was. I liked to call her a "petite piggle". She was with me through it all: elementary school graduation, first year in middle school, my parent's divorce (and all of their numerous fights and arguments), and middle school graduation. I hoped that she would make it towards Valentines Day, to my 15th birthday, to the last day of my freshman year. But she didn't make it. She died last night.
She suddenly fell sick on Friday night. She became so weak that she couldn't drink from her water bottle; I had to feed her water with a dropper. But her last day was not bad. That morning I changed her cage, gave her a bath, gave her her favorite foods (carrots and lettuce!), and let her cuddle with Pookie, her buddy. Pookie is four years old. Miley was a little over 5 and a half years old. She looked more fragile than ever in her last few hours. I cried all that morning, thinking it would be her last. I couldn't believe that it was. Last night I couldn't even cry when my mom and I found her lifeless in her new, clean cage. All the tears had left already. We buried her this afternoon in a shoebox with her favorite toy; one of those little clapper things that would make a clapping sound when you shook it back and forth. She would bite the part where your hand would go and throw her head up and down. It was both the cutest and funniest thing I had ever seen in my life. Her gravestone is her wooden hutch. I wrote her information down in Sharpie so when time goes by, people will still see who she was. She rests in my backyard with my parakeet Pizza. Hopefully she will be able to catch up with her in the Heavens and on Mt. Olympus. Hopefully she gets all the fresh grass she wants in a long, rolling field. Hopefully she has access to a huge vegetable garden full of carrots, lettuce, cucumbers, and kale, as well as a big apple tree that produces big, red apples of all shades. Let her soul rest in peace. I will love her forever and always. I love you, Miley.

Okay I need to stop typing of I'm gonna cry my eyes out,
Unknown Athena

Happy New Year!

Sorry this is a bit late, but, Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a splendid vacation (if you had one) and ate lots of yummy foods and had lots of fun. I went to my grandpa's house, then went to my great aunt & uncles house, then went back to my grandpa's house. Slept there. Went home. It was pretty good, I think. I got to see my cousins whom I haven't seen in awhile (by awhile I mean at least 2-3 years), and some other relatives.

We had super-Italian food; lasagna (I had to pick out the pieces of meat because I don't eat red meat), eggplant parm., salad with Italian dressing, ham, chicken, and a hell-of-a-lot-of dessert. There were cookies, upon cookies upon cookies; cakes and cupcakes and pie and tea and coffee and tarts and chocolates and chocolate dipped fruits and carbs alike. It was crazy. Oh, and grapes. Good ol' grapes. I had a ton of them, since they were one of the healthier choices. My mom was so mad when I came home and told her that. She was all like "You should've had more cake and pie and cookies! You need to gain weight!". My response: "I KNOW ALREADY!". It's true. I know I need to gain weight, but knowing and acting are two very different things.

Hope you all have some new years resolutions! I'll post mine sometime soon!

-Unknown Athena

So scared, EEP!

I'm nervous. It's Christmas Eve. I'm going to my grandpa's house, and it may be his last. He's 87 years old, and though I hate to think about it, he may not be around much longer. Also, my dad is cooking. We were originally going to go out to a diner to eat (where I could get a salad with grilled chicken or some other healthy alternative to greasy-fatty food), but apparently the diner closes at 3 pm, so now I'm going to have to keep my cool while consuming 1500+ calories from my dads completely authentic Italian food. He uses whole-milk cheeses and everything. Olive oil (it's good for you, but I'm still fearing those damn lipids), whole milk cheese, fried chicken cutlets... Oh Gods! I really hope I can pull through. I'm seeing family who have heard about my anrexia-episode too, so they're probably going to force me to eat a lot. EEP HELP ME! I'm worried!

-Unknown Athena

P.S. This probably won't post because I'm using my mom's laptop and my brother will never get off the "family" computer, so this may or may not go up after I actually wrote the post. Sorry Gods and Goddesses :(

P.P.S. Happy Holidays everyone!

Just keep Typing, Just keep Typing...

Hey all! Currently in in school working on an English research project. I just finished the things I had to do, but now there's nothing else I need to do here! I gave out a lot of gifts today, and my friends are really happy. One of them was tearing up, which made me tear up. Don't you love the feeling when someone is genuinely happy with what you did? I've just experianced another first, and it feels really sweet! Last night I stayed up untill 11:30 pm making snickerdoodles and cards for my friends. My really good friends got scarves and hats that I made them, and now they're wearing them around school! :) I'm so happy beyond belief! And it's almost Christmas. Last Christmas I was in the hospital, which sucked arse. But this year, that's not going to happen. I will stay strong and fight the ED! For Christmas I'm going to see my dad's family (he's the Christian one, my mom's Jewish), which will be interesting. Some of them I haven't seen in over two years. Two freaking years! I miss them a lot. I can't wait to see them! Oh, and happy 3rd night of Hannukah to those who celebrate :) My family finished the latkes me and my mom made last night; they were really good! We baked them instead of frying them, so they're way less fattening ^___^.

If I don't write until after Christmas, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and a wonderful New Year!

-Unknown Athena

OMG I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN SO LONG I'M SO SO SOOO SORRY!

So, my laptop's being a piece of poop... Again. My dad had spend MONTHS trying to fix it, but now it keeps crashing, so after an extremely long time of finding the moment when my brother's NOT on the computer, he finally gets up and does something productive (A.K.A. taking a shower). So now I am back for now, and I may post at will. The rest of November was good for me. Thanksgiving was small; my two cousins and aunt came over. It wasn't much but I made the stuffing myself ^^, and I made pumpkin pie pudding, which came out pretty good. Did I mention this stuff already to you guys? Sorry if I did...



And now it is December; the month of holidays; and shopping, and well... Getting fat. I'm getting a bit nervous for when Hanukkah comes around (fried latkes... *gulp*), and Christmas (my big fat Italian Christmas dinner = 12 courses... and dessert, can't forget that!), and New Years Eve (thank the Gods I don't drink and am underage!!). So I may gain (or drop) a few pounds, which means my groups of "-ists" will not be very happy. Or they'll be jumping with joy. Either way, it's gonna be a rough month.



But on the bright side, I just finished wrapping my pet's gifts: two "Nylabones" and a little bag of treats for Delilah, a toy and bird seed-treat-thing of Sunshine (my kamikaze-esque parakeet), and a nut/fruit/veggie treat for each of my two guinea pigs; Pookie and Miley. I honestly don't want much for Christmas, so I'm not going to ransack the house with my twin brother to look for our gifts this year. Last year was.... Different, so I'm going to get super-duper festive this holiday season! I even helped put up and decorate the tree, and make the train tracks around the tree. My dad was over and he put batteries in the old train cars... The ones that used batteries, anyways. Out of the twenty-or-so that my parents kept from my brother's childhood, only two were electric and could move themselves. The rest are wooden and have chipped paint. I feel so old when I look at them, but I'm only 14 years old! Eep!

-Unknown Athena

(P.S. This was written a week ago, but it wouldn't post, so...)

Sorry!!

'Kay, so a few things. One, I'm SO SORRY I haven't posted in like, a week and a half. I've been getting bombed with a bunch of homework, which is living hell. DO the teachers understand we have a life to live here? Seriously, it pisses me off. I have math homework and English homework almost every night. And my Spanish teacher, don't get me started. He's so annoying. He talks to us like we've never spoken Spanish before. We're in Spanish 2 for a reason! :|

Another thing, it's snowing. Snowing. In October. What is this madness?! And it's not that nice, fluffy snow, it's that icky wet snow that is living hell to drive in. I had to withstand giving my mom reassurence for an hour and a half driving less than five miles from our house because 1) she hates driving, 2) she hates driving in icky weather, and 3) she's really emotional and curses like there's no tomorrow when the brakes don't work. I'm seriously wondering how we didn't crash (we were pretty damn close though...). How is everyone supposed to trick-or-treat on Monday? My mom says the snow's gonna melt and the temperature's supposed to warm up, but still. It just doesn't feel right. This feels like the beginning of the end of the world. I've never seen snow fall before Thanksgiving, so when it snows before Halloween, well that's just plain strange. Does anyone else agree with me?

-Unknown Athena

P.S. This is kinda random, but do any of you believe that the world's going to end in 2012?
P.P.S. I tried my Ensure Plus warmed up in the microwave today. It surprisingly tasted a lot better then when it's served cold! So weird!!

OMG, please kill meh now (not legit)

My mom, wants, me, in, the, hospital. I want to kill somebody, or something. Whatever. It's Passover, a holiday that I like, and can see my family. But no, she wants me gone. Damn. It. All. To. Hell. I'm not depressed anymore, and I've been eating like crazy the past three days. My breakfast must have been at least 800 calories or something. No more tea for me, I'm drinking hot cocoa. Yummy hot cocoa. My dad helped me write out a plan to turn it around on the phone this morning, so I have a smidgen of a chance that I'll be at my house for the Passover sader. (Yeah, I have no clue how to spell that...) How can I win this??

-Unknown Athena

What comes up must come down... To like, China!

No racism on China! It's just an expression! You know, like when you were a little kid and thought you could dig to China? Yeah, that's what I meant. Annnnnnnnyways, this post has nothing to do with China, but I needed a cool title to go with this. Moving on...
My life is currently a hell-hole, place, whatever. I had to call the police earlier today on my brother because he was getting crazy about not wanting to get off his xBox. He was screaming, crying, cursing, threatening, breaking stuff... My mom tried to break his xBox, but sadly failed and it works like a charm. My brother broke his cell phone, which was pretty broken before. The police officer talked to him for awhile, but none of the stuff she said seemed to get into his head. A few minutes later, he was back on, screaming into the screen, as if those pixel-ized soldiers actually existed. I sense an addiction... Hmm... After that, I felt depressed and hung out with some friends. (Hey, that's better then crying in my room, right?) Now I'm just waiting for my mom and dog (they're at Petsmart doing that dog-training thing) to come home so I can make dinner, yes, I make the dinners about 75% of the time now, and go see my friend perform at the library.

Any suggestions to calm down my ADHD-anxiety-stressed-twin brother?

-Unknown Athena