Showing posts with label anorexia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anorexia. Show all posts

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Sophomore Year = HELLLLLLLLLL

   So I haven't posted in a while... Please don't shoot me! I've been SO busy. The homework load for Algebra 2/Trig., AP World, Chemistry, Spanish and Studio Art are MASSIVE. I have a problem set, textbook work in AP World and A2T, a lab for Chemistry to finish, a million and six verbs to memorize for Spanish 3, and finish a bunch of sketchbook things for art.

   Oh yeah, and I have 3 hours of volleyball a day, and games go on until around 7-8 pm. And my mom makes me eat like a pig... And I'm on my period, so I'm fat as hell and I'm breaking out :(

   I want to crawl into a hole and come out only when high school is over for the year....

-Unknown Athena

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Cured?

Just got back from the nutritionist. I hadn't seen her in a really long time (maybe a month or so?), so we had a nice little chat. We were talking about my "feelings" about my eating disorder. Do I define myself by my eating disorder. What does my eating disorder mean to me? All that kind of stuff. She thinks that this will be one of the last times I'll see her in her office again!

But does that mean I'm cured? Will my eating disorder vanish? Will Ana ever come back? Will I remember her if she returns? I'm kind of confused as to whether or not I can call myself "cured" or anorexia and depression. I still get depressed. I still feel fat, but does that make me an anorexic? Even if it lingers like old perfume, will I still be able to say I'm "cured"? I'm not sure if I can let it all go yet. I spent so much time on Ana: tracking calories, exercising my a** off, restricting, skipping social events... Can I really just blow it off like dust?

Hope you are enjoying the Summer!
-Unknown Athena

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Feeling Fat in NYC

Hey everybody! So today I went to NYC, because my mom and my aunt were going to see a play. They have some subscription thing to see a play every month, because they flipping love the theatre. I came along to hang out with my cousin whom I haven't seen in forever. She's an EMS, and is pretty much always on the job. We hung out while our moms watched their play. They said it was about some guy who had a 6 foot 3 imaginary friend that was a bunny... Strange, but okay. So my cousin and I went to the big Forever 21 with 5 floors, and "window shopped" because all the things I tried on didn't fit me and the one shirt I liked didn't have my size. Go figure, we weren't meant to be :(. Then we went to Godiva where my other cousin works and got two free chocolates. Once we left the nice air-conditioned chocolate haven, we went to Aeropostale because my cousin (who is 22 now) wanted to get shirts. When Aeropostale had a sale, GO. The shirts were 2 for $10, and usually $30 each. I am not going to shell out that kind of money for a shirt worth less than $10, so it was good. I didn't get anything, but my cousin got some stuff. After that, we went to Sephora where I got some Hello Kitty perfume and my birthday gift from them, a fresh lip set. It smells really good. I can't wait to use them!

Once we were done with that, we met back up with our moms and my cousin who works at Godiva came and we ate some Thai food. It was good, but really filling. I had chicken Pad Thai, which is like full flavor and fat city. I ate a lot because my mom was watching me the whole time like I would die if I didn't eat every flipping bite. Then she made me have some sticky rice which tasted like nothing, and some mango ice cream that was more like ice than cream. At least we got to go to Sanrio afterwards. My old Hello Kitty lunchbox is "too small" (a.k.a. normal sized, but my mom, who rules my life, says I need another one), I needed another one. I got a cute hemp-like bag to serve as a new lunch box. It's cute. I like it.

Once I came home and walked the pup, my mom drilled me into eating half a bag of Nestle Dark Chocolate Morsels. I feel sick now. I was never a bulemic, but I want to throw up right now. I just feel like total $h!t. Ever had one of those moments? Yeah, that's me right now. After a real good day, it kind of stinks to feel this way.

I've been having the worst sleeping habits recently. I've gone to bed around two am and waking up between 10 and 12 noon. Maybe when my mom falls asleep (she's a deep sleeper), I can get in a quick workout in the basement. Hopefully the dog doesn't bark or anything. She's not much of a music pup. I don't understand her at all.

Hope you all had a spectacular day. Stay strong!
-Unknown Athena

Friday, July 6, 2012

Tell It Like It Is!

I follow lots of blogs, and even though some of them can be a bit dreary and unhelpful towards my recovery, they are so true! I was reading one blog, called (Size) Zero Intentions, and one of her posts made me almost jump up and want to shout and run around and do happy dances. Though I have never experienced these "haters", I think they should leave. Now. Silent haters, I don't mind. Hate in your mind, not on the internet, or to anyone or anywhere else for that matter. Click here to read the post. She should get a cyber hug for that. I'm actually a pretty shy person in real life, but on the internet, I'm a lot more out there, if that makes any sense. I'm not as afraid to speak my mind as in school or at home where my twin brother judges me like there's no flipping tomorrow. I've probably said this a million times, but we are polar opposites. He's sporty, and I'm lazy. I get good grades, he's average. We're different.

On another (and happier) note, I got to finally go swimming at my friend's pool. It's been really really hot, so when she called me, I practically wanted to run to her house, even though it's on the other side of town. So I went swimming, and got some exercise in, even though I had biked a few miles before in the terrible heat. Hopefully I can build some muscle in camp so when volleyball season starts, maybe I'll be a starting player on the team. Only 6 are allowed on the court at a time, so it's a real jungle trying to get the coach to both like you and think you're good.

Don't die in the heat my darlings xx
-Unknown Athena
P.S. I feel lonely sometimes... Don't be afraid to comment! I like to know that someone out there reads this :)

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Nothing Can Compare to the Lack of Posting...

Oh hey guys, so, I haven't checked in with you for quite some time... I'm really sorry about that. My life has been really really busy lately, so the computer has felt like miles away from me. But I shall put my whole life from last time I posted until now in a pretty way, if you want to read it...

June 22nd, 2012:
I celebrated my last day of school (though I hadn't been in school since the 20th), and my birthday a day early. I had a BBQ at the park with a bunch of my friends, and we had a pretty good time, nix the rain, thunder and lightning. Hey, at least we got front row seats, if you know what I mean. We all hid under the pavillion like idiots, and blew bubbles while we waited for it to stop thundering. We were right there, near the water. It was both frightning and exillerating!

June 23rd, 2012:
My birthday! Except I didn't really spend it on myself. That morning, I went to my neighbor's bar mitzvah, which was okay, because I only went to the morning services. It was kinda cute, because my neighbor loves baseball. I mean, he really loves baseball, so the whole thing revolved around that. Then I slept a bit afterwards and went to my first Sweet 16. It was awesome, I'm not gonna lie. There was a Japanese theme, so there were candles and pink shells and origami people on the tables... It was seriously awesome! Plus it was at a fancy shmancy place, so that was a plus.

June 24th, 2012:
This day was fun, as well as (mostly) the whole week. I started volleyball camp at the high school, and I worked on my serve and hits. I was mainly helping the little kids, so they all looked up to me like I was God, along with a few of my friends from the volleyball team. Apparently I'm Queen of the Floor Nation, because I dove for the ball a lot and somehow ending up on the floor after almost every single play.

June 25th, 2012:
Had to help my dad and grandpa pack. My grandpa's kid sister passed away earlier this month, and my grandpa passed a few years ago, so he's going to move in with my dad. My really snotty aunt came over the next day and took all of my grandma's old jewelry. She brought my cousins, so my grandpa couldn't complain. I seriously want to kick my aunt in the vagina... She left nothing for me. She hadn't talked to my grandpa in almost 2 freaking years, and then just comes over and takes all of grandma's things, and leaves. What a bitch, I tell you!

June 26th, 2012:
Had to go to the doctor's office to get a physical; height, weight, blood pressure, all that jazz. Then I had to get two shots, for reasons I'm not really sure of. If I didn't tell you yet, I have the biggest fear of needles, ever, it's ridiculous! One of them was a two-part thing, so I have to go back in December to get the second half. I was a crying mess. I was shaking and bawling like a baby. My right arm got the shot that went into my muscle, so it was sore for a few days. The left arn got the other one, so it wasn't so bad. But still, I hate myself for being such a baby.

June 27th and 28th, 2012:
Flipping heat waves, enough said. Volleyball was hell because the gym felt like a million and two degrees F.

June 29th, 2012:
Because I was too much of a bloody, bawling mess on Wednesday, I had to go back to get bloodwork done on Friday. I was hyperventilating and shivering, and felt like I had a hangover afterwards (I've never been drunk or hungover, so I'm just using the word from what I've been told) because I was really dizzy. Then I went home and played with Delilah, so it was better

June 30th, 2012:
Got my late grandma's sewing machine back. It's from the 1950's (I think the guy at the Singer Store said 1955 was when they were manufactured), and hadn't been used in a good ten years or so, and it really needed some TLC. Me and my dad tried oiling it with 3-in-1 oil that you would use in cars... Bad idea. But the people over at the Singer Store fixed it up and now it runs perfect! After we took the sewing machine back, my dad and I went over to the diner and had lunch. Being in a fat-feeling mood, I got a salad with grilled chicken and honey mustard. It was pretty good and filling.

July 1st, 2012:
Felt like shit, so I literally slept all day. My mom woke me up for meals, but other than that, I slept like a baby.

July 2nd, 2012:
More shit-feeling, but less. My mom forced me to go to Kohls to get bras and shorts for camp, because I'm lacking proper shorts (they have to touch your thumbs or lower when your arms are at your sides...) and bras that actually fit me... Then I went home and slept more. I swear I'm becoming more and more like an owl... Or just a fat bear who hibernates during the summer.

So that is my life up until now. Hope you didn't fall asleep. My life isn't all fun and games, it's actually quite boring :\

Hope you stay cool in the heat! xx
-Unknown Athena

Monday, June 11, 2012

Feeling Better, Along With Other Things...


Completed my first Final of high school! This morning (at 8 in the morning) I had to go to school just to take a Global Final. To my surprise, I thought it was fairly easy. But, for all I know, I could have screwed everything up and got a zero.
As you can see, I'm kinda, sorta obsessed with memes at the moment. They're quite funny, sometimes. If any of you are on Instagram, follow edmemes . It's my wonderful take on my eating disorder. Follow at will :3
Also, I just got back from a bike ride with my twin brother. We don't usually get along all too well, but today, I guess we were on good terms and decided to take the bike trail. The bike trail in my town goes from one park to the other. It's around 5 miles altogether, but because my brother needed to go to basketball practice (he's crazy. going from biking to basketball with no break? idiot...), we only did around 4.5. Because I love my memes, here's another one, just for you:
Enjoy your Day!
-Unknown Athena

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Cold Showers are Wonderful...


...So I had a depression spell today after exersizing because my mom got all freaked out after jumping rope for 5 flipping minutes. Jumping rope for 15 minutes burns 166 calories, so I was all like, "F*ck yeah, I'm going back to second grade!". But NOOOOOOOOOOOO, I can't do anything but sit on my butt all day and mope and eat a sh!tload of carbs because even though I'm at a healthy weight of 125 lbs, I still can't burn a single calorie without my mom going ape-sh!t. It's ridiculous. I got so upset after she lecture-yelled at my that I took a 20-minute, freezing cold shower which consisted of my crying my eyes out in the fetal position on the shower floor while my mom was banging on the door saying I need to STFU or else she's sending me back to the hospital. Eventually, the cold shower calmed me down a bit and I got out and cleaned my room for two hours. I don't usually clean my room, but when I do, it's because I'm depressed as f*ck.
Hope your day's going better than mine...
-Unknown Athena

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Another Goddess Has Returned to Mt. Olympus

R.I.P. Great Aunt Mary, aged 86 years. You will be missed, and forever in my heart.
I'm really sad, and stressed. My dad had called earlier this week, saying that my Great Aunt Mary (my grandpa's kid sister) was sick and in the hospital. Today, he called again, except his news was worse; she passed away. I was writing my English essay on Catcher in the Rye, but after hearing that, how could I continue? To mourn, my nails are painted black and one red (she was a very stylish lady back in her day), and I cried and slept until now. This all started around 7-ish. Now I'm eating yogurt, ulh. I need to stop eating, or I'll get fat. I can already tell I gained a bit this past month, probably while stressing over all my stupid finals and Regents...
Now I have a heavy heart and a helluva lot of work to do. I hope all of your hearts are happier than mine.
-Unknown Athena
p.s. I got a 100 on my Spanish 2 oral, which made my day, I guess.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Life: Updated

   Hey everyone, sorry about the absence in posting recently. Everything is either going to fast or too slow. School ends June 8th, but then we get smacked with Regents and Finals 'till the end of June. Track is going too fast. Track's ending this Wednesday for the JV-aged people, but I'm pretty sure it's still continuing on for the Varsity people. Our school's too cheap to have a JV team and a Varsity (and there's not a million kids doing track and field, so...) so we're all smushed together. Some meets it's everyone, some meets it's only freshman and sophomores.
   Anyways, I need to fill you in with my life. Gosh, I sound like one of those super-snotty fake-tanned steriotypical Westchester housewives -_________-. Whatever. Okay. Back to what I was saying, track's almost over, and I'm kinda sad. Yeah, I wasn't the best, but I sure as hell tried, and it was the only way I could exersize a lot and have it be okay with my mom. She's always on my tail. ALWAYS. I "forget" to eat yogurt or cereal or whatnot, and she thinks I'm restricting. I am, but I'm trying to be pretty darn descreet about it. Well, it's Mother's Day, so I can't complain. I made my mom French toast and coffee for her breakfast. My brother walked the dog for her at 6 in the morning. And my dad took us all out to eat for an early dinner. Sometimes I don't understand my mom and dad. They should hate each other (they're divorced!), but somehow they can still go out to eat with us and act like a normal, happy couple. They don't hug, or kiss, or hold hands, but it's still weird!

Happy Mother's Day Goddesses ;-) Give tus madres something to be happy about!
-Unknown Athena

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Week of Hell

Sorry for the lack of posting lately. And sorry for saying sorry so many freaking times. I seriously need to stop saying sorry so much : Anyways, I'm in school, in Arts & Crafts, a.k.a. the easy A class. I literally have a 97 average without trying. It's the same with my 98 average in Spanish, but that might be because I have a sucky teacher who is super slow. At least I don't have him today. But this week will be hell, let me tell you.

I have three known tests this week, all on the same freaking day!! On Thursday, first period (normally second period, but it's going to be a double even day, so...) I have a Geometry Triterm, which has the same concept of a midterm, only in the third quarter (even though it's the fourth quarter now...). After that, I have band. Then lunch. After lunch, I'm faced with a Spanish exam, which would be easy if I would actually memorize the meanings of the words and didn't have to translate English into Spanish. Of course my teacher would do it the hard way : After that, I'm hit with an Earth Science unit test on Earth's energy. Two or three weeks ago (I was on break last week, but I'm still counting it), I missed a day of school because I felt like total crap, and my evil teacher decides to start a whole new unit. BULL. ABSOLUTE BULL. So Thursday is going to make me want to restrict, maybe even cut. At some wierd Pampered Chef thing my mom made me go to earlier, I somehow won a paring knife. Of course I won the knife of all things. So now whenever I go into my room, I see the shiny new knife with it's maroon handle and white paper blade-cover.

On another note, last night was hell. My brother was being more like a four year old than a fourteen year old, and got my mom upset again. So they started yelling at each other and my mom was crying and he made a hole in the wall and I got so upset that I went to my friend S's house, running the whole mile-ish there. Then we watched Glee and played Smash Bros on her Wii, which cheered me up :)


Stay strong Goddesses!

-Unknown Athena

Thursday, March 1, 2012

HAH! You Were WRONG, -ISTS!

Yes, that is what I call the people I see on Thursdays: -ists. I see my nutritionist and therapist so I just call them the -ists. They probably thought I was going to loose weight, but NOPE, I MAINTAINED! This is a first, because every other break I've had since the start of my ED, I've lost weight. But this time, I maintained. It must've been thought delicious cookies that me and S found in Maine. They were like a fudge-y, nutty... It was just too good to explain. Think of an underdone brownie with walmuts and huge chunks of chocolate, but as a cookie! I need to go to Maine again...

Hope you all had a good break. Back to school and, ew, Regents prep... Ulh...
-Unknown Athena
P.S. The -ists think that I might be able to start dropping an Ensure Plus and adding an energy bar soon! I'm starting track & field on March 12th, so they're a bit worried about that. But soon, one less 350 (100 fat cals) calorie drink!!!!

Monday, February 27, 2012

I'm Baaaaaaaack!

Hey guys! Sorry that I haven't posted in so long. I was in Maine for the last week because my mom went to California. It was lots of fun: I had the BEST COOKIE EVER. And I bought a ton of CDs, and I got, wait for it, a Pokemon game! It's like reliving my childhood. The game I bought was the Pokemon Sapphire for the Game Boy. It's so ancient that they don't make or sell Game Boys or Gme Boy games. :(

Sorry that this post is so short. I just am in an "I Feel Fat" mood and I want to try some new ab workouts. I'm pretty sure I gained a pound or two in Maine. Well, I'll find that out on Thursday when I see my therapist and nutritionist.

Stay Strong and Carry On!
-Unknown Athena

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Valentines Day...

I actually had a very uneventful Valentines Day, as expected. If fat were a feeling though, I would have felt fat all day: I got chocolate from two friends, sweet-hearts (the one's with the odd sayings that make no sense... "Jump 4 Me"? Really? My friend scratched off the "4" so it said "Jump Me"... Very funny... Moving on...), cookies, rice-krispie treats, brownies... Oh, there is more, but I'm tired and sick and stressed and ULH JUST 2 MORE DAYS 'TILL BREAK! Did I tell you that my mom is ditching me to go to California with her friend for a week? Nice one, mom. Whatever, I'm going to Maine with a friend because apparentally it's illegal for me to stay home alone for a week (though re-inacting Home Alone 1 would be interesting).
Back to Valentines Day, I was sitting in Spanish with my guy friend, let's call him A, and finishing some print out or "photocopia" my teacher says. Then these two kids sitting on the other side of the classroom (the teacher was outside doing oral tests one by one), let's call then G and J, say "OMG JUST GO OUT ALREADY!". My response: "?"
I've never really thought about A that way. He's great, really. He's funny, smart, and understanding. But I can't get my mind around us "going out", whatever that means for a Freshman in high school. We can't drink, we can't drive, we can't even go to a resteraunt without having to have a parent drive us. It doesn't make sense! So now my face gets hot and I barely make out an excuse for not dating. A backs me up, too, saying "We're just friends" and all, but I can't stop thinking about it. It's so... Ack I can't even describe how weird that would be! Anyways, I'm not really a perfect girl for a relationship. For one thing, I have anorexia and depression. Secondly, I'm like a giraffe and my skin isn't 100% flawless. I'm not thin nor fat. Not smart nor dumb. I'm average. That word irks me. Average. It's not exeptional, but it doesn't suck. Like me.

How did everyone else's Valentines Days go? I hope they weren't as awkward as mine!
-Unknown Athena
May the Gods be with you... Despite it's corniness I like it!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Stupidity and Poor Planning

I had an idea. I wanted to have a party. Screw Valentines Day and everyone being all lovey dovey with their partners, I wanted to have a party. But no party for me. I planned to late. No one can come. Tears are falling down my face. I feel like a loser. This isn't good. The voices. They're coming back. In whispers, the tell me, "stop eating, it's not worth it. what's the matter, wus? have no friends to give you joy? hah! sucks, loser. hope you enjoy your worthless life, with no friends at your funeral. look, there are some knives just feet away from you. they're shiny. they'll make you feel good. that blood? yeah, that's the sign of a good time. you should try it. c'mon, don't be scared, you dumb-sh!t! you're not wanted anyway. hurting yourself is good. c'mon, we're waiting...". I'm going f*cking insane, aren't I? I can't enjoy this month t all. I'm single, loveless, unwanted, an outcast; I could go on and on and on. This isn't fun. Life isn't fun. I want to relapse but I can't get myself to commit. Gods, what the hell is the point of life if I can't even have friends to enjoy it with?

-Unknown Athena

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

To be or not to be, THAT is the question

This week I've been debating whether or not I consider myself to be pro-ana. I finally realized what the term "pro-ana" means a month or so ago; it means to be for anorexia. My former self was all for it, and I almost killed myself with the damn disease! But now that I'm recovering, I'm not so sure what I think of it. Anorexia is no joke. Anorexia can't just be erased. I still sometimes think of fasting or dieting or over-exersizing or giving away my food (which I still do... sometimes). I know it's not good and I shouldn't be doing it, but I can't help it. The ED (eating-disorder) still manifests within myself. I still pick the "safe" foods over the fatty, other choices, but I at least know that I'm doing something wrong. Look up the song "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin' Park. That song pretty much sums up how I felt pre-hospital, pre-relapse, and every now and again. Uuuuuulh my mind is spinning and I really don't like it!
-Uknown Athena
P.S. I have so much homework! I have Japanese, science, math, and a TON of English homework! Wish me luck while I bust my goddess-booty finishing it all while watching my guilty pleasure, Cupcake Wars :-)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Happy New Year!

Sorry this is a bit late, but, Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a splendid vacation (if you had one) and ate lots of yummy foods and had lots of fun. I went to my grandpa's house, then went to my great aunt & uncles house, then went back to my grandpa's house. Slept there. Went home. It was pretty good, I think. I got to see my cousins whom I haven't seen in awhile (by awhile I mean at least 2-3 years), and some other relatives.

We had super-Italian food; lasagna (I had to pick out the pieces of meat because I don't eat red meat), eggplant parm., salad with Italian dressing, ham, chicken, and a hell-of-a-lot-of dessert. There were cookies, upon cookies upon cookies; cakes and cupcakes and pie and tea and coffee and tarts and chocolates and chocolate dipped fruits and carbs alike. It was crazy. Oh, and grapes. Good ol' grapes. I had a ton of them, since they were one of the healthier choices. My mom was so mad when I came home and told her that. She was all like "You should've had more cake and pie and cookies! You need to gain weight!". My response: "I KNOW ALREADY!". It's true. I know I need to gain weight, but knowing and acting are two very different things.

Hope you all have some new years resolutions! I'll post mine sometime soon!
-Unknown Athena

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Theatres and Fat-People-Food

Hey guys! You guessed it; I went to the movies today. Me and my friend, let's call her Z, went to see that movie Tintin, but not in 3D. 3D ruins movies, so 2D was the way to go. It was also the only way the movie theatre showed the movie, so... Yeah. She's lost a lot of weight, and she looks lovely. I'm still puzzled how she can eat "normal people" food without guilt; buttery movie popcorn, sugar-loaded candies, smoothies, ice cream, etc. It's amazing, but I can't do it. She got a small popcorn and her sibling got sour patch kids. I had roughly a smll handful, and regretted it. It may be popcorn, one of the "diet foods", but it was movie style. Movie style = FAT FAT FATITTY FAT FAT FATTED. No, I do not care if "fatted" and "fatitty" are not in the English language... Yet (LOL was added to the English dictionary, as well as Teboing; the act of kneeling down on one knee, putting your fist to your forehead, and praying). 'Still doesn't shake away the fact that I had sodium-saturated, fat-laden food. I wish I could work out, but my mom checks on me every ten minutes or so because I was catagorized as a "compulsive exercizer"when I was admitted to the hospital, among other things. SO, she can't let me alone for ten minutes without thinking I'm doing push ups or crunches or whatever. I need help. How can I work out?! And gym class does not count. Gym is a joke to me, legit. Ulh, I want to get back to working out, and playing sports, but that leads to relapsing, and I'd rather not relapse again :(

Bleh, no me gusta!
-Unknown Athena

Saturday, December 24, 2011

oh the irony!

Funny how these thimgs come to be. This year for Christmas, my dad got me an Amazon kindle. Right before he gave it to me, I had told him i wouldn't want a kindle. Now I feel bad because he got me a kindle :( what should I do? I probably hurt his feelings really bad!!!


So scared, EEP!

I'm nervous. It's Christmas Eve. I'm going to my grandpa's house, and it may be his last. He's 87 years old, and though I hate to think about it, he may not be around much longer. Also, my dad is cooking. We were originally going to go out to a diner to eat (where I could get a salad with grilled chicken or some other healthy alternative to greasy-fatty food), but apparently the diner closes at 3 pm, so now I'm going to have to keep my cool while consuming 1500+ calories from my dads completely authentic Italian food. He uses whole-milk cheeses and everything. Olive oil (it's good for you, but I'm still fearing those damn lipids), whole milk cheese, fried chicken cutlets... Oh Gods! I really hope I can pull through. I'm seeing family who have heard about my anrexia-episode too, so they're probably going to force me to eat a lot. EEP HELP ME! I'm worried!

-Unknown Athena
P.S. This probably won't post because I'm using my mom's laptop and my brother will never get off the "family" computer, so this may or may not go up after I actually wrote the post. Sorry Gods and Goddesses :(
P.P.S. Happy Holidays everyone!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Just keep Typing, Just keep Typing...

Hey all! Currently in in school working on an English research project. I just finished the things I had to do, but now there's nothing else I need to do here! I gave out a lot of gifts today, and my friends are really happy. One of them was tearing up, which made me tear up. Don't you love the feeling when someone is genuinely happy with what you did? I've just experianced another first, and it feels really sweet! Last night I stayed up untill 11:30 pm making snickerdoodles and cards for my friends. My really good friends got scarves and hats that I made them, and now they're wearing them around school! :) I'm so happy beyond belief! And it's almost Christmas. Last Christmas I was in the hospital, which sucked arse. But this year, that's not going to happen. I will stay strong and fight the ED! For Christmas I'm going to see my dad's family (he's the Christian one, my mom's Jewish), which will be interesting. Some of them I haven't seen in over two years. Two freaking years! I miss them a lot. I can't wait to see them! Oh, and happy 3rd night of Hannukah to those who celebrate :) My family finished the latkes me and my mom made last night; they were really good! We baked them instead of frying them, so they're way less fattening ^___^.


If I don't write until after Christmas, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and a wonderful New Year!


-Unknown Athena