It's growing!

YAY! It's getting bigger everyday (that's what she said...)!! :D Growing is so cool!

-Unknown Athena

Thanks...?

Don't you hate those moments when you learned something you really didn't want to hear? Yeah, had that moment quite a lot today, and yesterday. The Wii fit told me I have no core balance in gym yesterday ("Wellness" period... Yeah, right), today I learned when too much is too much (*cough cough* BABIES), and now I'm remembering waaaaaay back when we watched the Miracle of Life in science. What a "miracle". How is a bloody little human a miracle? More like scarring, or at least to watch it. Yup, another reason I don't want kids... -________-

-Unknown Athena


P.S. Now that I think about it; why the heck would I go have kids? I can barely support myself! That was supposed to be a joke... But now it really doesn't seem like one...

Here's the deal

Alright, I dunno if I mentioned this in any previous posts, but I got this lovely friend. Her name's Olivia. She's a blogger, too. And over the past week, two, I can't remember, we've been doing this project in Social Studies called "The American Dream". Basically we research a "minority" that isn't getting their fair chance at the American Dream (whatever that is...). She researched gay-Americans, like me, only she made hers better, and posted it on her lovely blog. You can see it right here, don't be shy. She only took dibs on, oh I dunno, a gazillion people. Yeah, she's amazing. Follow her, and me too, 'cause we're just that cool.

Oh yeah, and if you hate on LGBT (lesbian-gay-bi-transgenders), you suck. Honestly, we're all human, we can do what we want. It says so in our dear friend's amazing work. I know, I've already linked it, but serously, it is an eye-opening piece of work. That thing should be put in the New York Times it's so good. Poor Olivia, she must be screaming into her computer that I'm making it seem like such a big deal. But it is a big deal. If you have any sort of say and/or argument to put up, just comment and we'll talk }:). If it's nice, I'll be like this: :), but if not: }:). Yeah...

-Unknown Athena

P.S. Is there any other groups you think aren't being treated right? Who? I like to know...

The City's so pretty

Hey! That rhymes! Currently I'm looking out from my dads new apartment, and I can see the City lights sprinkled across the sky. It's so pretty, I really wish I took my camera! Maybe later I'll watch the end of Julie and Julia, trying not to think about the amount of calories I had today. Sadly my dad's really pushy about things, so I swear when I wasn't looking he snuck more oil into the pan when we were making teriyaki shrimp and chicken.... At least I walked a lot. The mall here is huge, and I got a lot of walking in. I bought a skirt from Wet Seal; and it's love at first sight. The skirt's long, to my ankles, and has a boho-y, hippie-like pattern. Can't wait to wear it!

-Unknown Athena

P.S. What's your favorite place to look at?

I just noticed...

This is kinda random, but I noticed that my font for the blog was really weird and hard to read. So I apologize, and I changed it to hopefully give you a helping click (hand wouldn't make much sense in this context), and maybe attract some more viewers. Ack, I sound desperate, just like those wanna-be-like-Fred Youtubers...

-Unknown Athena

That was fast

Did anyone experience that random snowstorm and then all the snow melted away? Yeah, I did, how weird. A half-day of school, for no apparent reason. The snow is gone, spring's slowly (but surely) coming. Or says so my apple seed. It looks like it grew a bit, but I'm not totally sure. Sadly I'm still a bit delerious because I forgot to set my alarm this morning and had the smallest breakfast in probably 5 months; tea, an egg, and oatmeal. My nutritionist would shun me so. She keeps saying she has "no expectations" of me, but that doesn't seem right. So does she think I'm not going to accomplish anything? Or that structure and food don't go well with me (seriously, it's not. Meal plans are not easy, juuuuuust an FYI)? No idea. Anyways, my apple seed looks a bit longer, and my dog's currently chewing up my brothers stuffed-Stewie from Family Guy. Weird? Yes. Funny? Yes. Okay, I'm chill with it. Now Delilah is going crazy again, barking and running around like a mad-man, or mad-dog; whatever. I hope she calms down, she's only about 1 and a half years old, so maybe she has some puppy left in her...?

Grow seed, grow!
-Unknown Athena

P.S. Today at school we had a bake-sale to raise some money to help Japan. A lot of people made stuff; I made some yummy snickerdoodles. All but 2 were sold. I gave $2, in exchange for 3 packages of Koala-no-Machi, this godly Japanese cookie/pastry thing. Love them! For the 7th and 8th grade, we raised $501.00 (Yes, 501, not 500, 501)!!! We haven't counted the sales from the 5th and 6th grade lunches, but it'll probably top ours.

I feel like a mom!

No, I am not pregnant, JUST AN FYI, since there are many silly minds among us. I just feel so nurturing and mother-like. Maybe it's Delilah (my ah-dorable new family member), or maybe it's the fact I actually got something to grow. I've always wanted a garden, but since the first day of spring was a very winter-esque day (ahem, SNOW), my dream was broken, and ended up in me crying for what now seems like nothing. It all started with eating an apple; a nice, om-nomerful Gala apple. Then there was the seed, and a lone, empty yogurt cup, and a bag of never-used soil. This is where the big bang happened. Not legit, but close enough. After several days of hoping, watering and less-than-satisfactory amounts of sunlight, it sprouted. It sprouted, it sprouted IT SPROUTED! I swear I feel so good, growing something. Try it, I think you'll enjoy the feeling to. And just think, in oh, I dunno, 50 years, I'll have apples!

Go Veggies (Yeah yeah, I know apples are a fruit)!
-Unknown Athena

Going that Extra Mile

Is it worth it? Is it worth the extra effort? Does the "+" or "-" really make a difference? I have no clue. This project for social studies is killing me; killing me. I have to do a full citation for everything (thank God for Easybib.com), and find everything there is to know on the topic I'm researching for our American Dream project. For whatever reason, I chose gay rights. Sadly, there isn't much out there on gay rights. Have any suggestions?

Yay for lunch period!
-Unknown Athena

Blazing Through Books

Just finished up reading My Side of the Mountain. You know, that classic choice book that's so cute with not much of a plot but I still was warped with it kind of book? Yeah, I read it. I feel proud of reading it in only a day. My English teacher will be happy. Now onto the book I really can't wait to tear through; Life As We Knew It. No, not that movie that I never saw but heard it was weird one, the book, by Susan Beth Pfeffer. I'm still not sure how to say her last name, but it looks cool! Anyways, it's a good book, you should read it :)
Ulh, I'm pissed just thinking about this; I lost 3 lbs! 3 pounds I worked my butt off to gain! Now more Ensure... Hate... This.... Help me!

Bookworms Forever!
-Unknown Athena

P.S. What's your favorite read? Which book are you loving right now?

Disclaimer: I don't own the picture in this post

I'm all choked up!

Ahahaha, anyone in the cast of Grease would understand... Someone commented! I'm so happy! I'm also happy because finally, it's nice and sunny out, maybe somewhere between 50-60 degrees out. My confidence is so high I'm wearing a tank top! ^_^ I'm getting weighed this week so hopefully I did well. That stupid crap-in-a-bottle hopefully is working. Also, I signed up for track, so no matter what happens, I'll still get to "run the trail", a.k.a. go down to the lake and come back acting like you ran up and down the trail a gazillion times. Last year it was really fun, especially the high-jump. Seriously, don't diss it 'till you try it :)

Sunny Skies and Butterflies,
Unknown Athena

P.S. What outdoor stuff do you like to do when a random nice day comes?

Hello? Anyone there?

I feel like I'm trying to call someone, someone picks up, but says nothing. Or if the line's dead... There isn't an answer. Is there even anyone reading my blog? Just posting makes me feel better, but the support of others is very much appreciated. Even a simple "Hi" would be fine, it just seems very lonely, that on the World Wide Web, no one seems to come across this small blog. This isn't a deserted island people! Haha... What am I saying? >.< If you care, just leave me a comment or something. Writing for what seems to be nobody can get pretty boring at times...

It's a harsh crowd tonight it seems,
Unknown Athena

I like this idea...

First, I'm really sorry I haven't posted in the past 2 days. My goal at the beginning of this blog was to post every day, but I kinda, sorta failed :|. Most likely I failed to reach my goal at the beginning of this blog. Ack! Bad talk! Don't self hate on self! Yeah, these are my new tools to boost my self esteem. Which brings me to this website I found called Operation Beautiful. It's basically this site where they try to spread the word of getting everyone to stop the bad self-talk, and now I'm really excited to try it. I'm not so sure (because it's hard to tell, obviously) how many girls in my school do self-hate, but now I can't wait for school tomorrow to put post-its in the bathroom! Aw, I wish I learned about this site yesterday! Then I could've put them in the locker room as well! Oh well, I have gym on... Friday. Yeah, Friday. You have no idea how happy I was when my "team" (the school's social worker, psychiatrist and nurse) told me I could start doing gym again. I practically screamed!

Post-It Notes and Kisses,
Unknown Athena

One Word: Japan

If my heart were a hug, I'd hug Japan. Poor Japan, I don't know what to do! Is there any sort of foundation that's raising money, clothes, toiletries, etc to help them? 'Cause I want in! First off, I love Japanese culture. There's so much about it I love, especially their schools, and the fact that it's the students who clean the school, not janitors. Also, they have amazing food (hello? They invented sushi and noodles! Or maybe that was China... I should look that up...). Hopefully I can learn to make sushi, because I'll admit it; I can be cheap. If my mom wants to buy something like cookies, I'll be like "I can make that!". Yeah, me and my cooking. I'll never pass up a chance to cook...

-Unknown Athena

Disclaimer: I don't own that picture. I took it off of this site I got from Google images.

I feel so filled up with do-gooderness!

'Kay, so as you can tell by the header, I feel like a total do-gooder; like a girl scout. Heck, I am a girl scout (legit). Today me and my troop went to a children hospital to do some crafts with them. It was more like a rehabilitation hospital, but I think they also had a "normal" hospital part. We got to meet some of the kids and help them make self-portraits to use on a changeable family tree. The girl I worked with was really sweet. She was only 2 grades below me (she's a 6th grader), and really nice. When she said she was getting discharged on Wednesday, I felt an electric shock of memory go up my spine. It reminded me of when I heard I was getting discharged at the hospital. It just makes you so happy and anxious that you just want to scream at the world, "I'M GETTING DISCHARGED! HOORAY!" Of course I didn't tell her that I knew the feeling, but in a wierd way I kinda wanted to. Anyways, I just wish I could've stayed longer. It made me feel so good and happy to make their day (well, maybe not all of them seemed like we did, but some of them), I think more people should do things like that. Don't you think so?

-Unknown Athena

Question: What thing have you done for someone that made you feel good?

I felt sad one moment, happy the next, and vise-versa

Today has been one hell of a day. The morning went by in a flurry, because of all that went on. Someone had the nerve to make a hate-page for one of my classmates on Facebook, hack into their account and delete all their friends, trash their locker with hate-notes, and stole some of their science labs! I swear I will kill (okay maybe not kill, but I'll go evil on them) the person who did it. Not only is it mean, but isn't it illegal to steal labs that the state needs to see? Now one of my fellow students has to make up like, 7 freaking hours of labs! I know the classmate and I aren't BFFs or anything, but you just don't DO that! >:O
Now somehow I found a bright side to this day; the weather went from blah to yeah, the sun's still shining, it's warm (when I mean warm I mean warm for the fact it was raining like hell last night; and it was really cold out) out, and my dog's going psychotic because my silly parakeet decides after a whole year of not flying, she'll fly now that we have a dog, and really low. Sometimes I really wonder what goes on in those little brains of theirs.
Also, I gained half a pound! I'm half a step closer to legitimate freedom!

-Unknown Athena

Is there such thing as too nice?

I think I can be too nice at times. Is that a bad thing? My mom keeps saying it's bad, but I disagree. Maybe in the position I'm in it is, but I like to be nice. If a friend doesn't have much to eat for lunch, I gladly give my snack to them. Or if they need help studying, I'll give up my lunch period to help them. Everytime I do something nice that involves food, there's always this slight guilt feeling that keeps saying "You really needed the calories", and everytime I give, in a sense I loose because I'm "Giving up a chance to gain" as my nutritionist puts it. But really, I don't see the bad in helping others! Screw Darwinism, I like when everyone, not only the strongest, survive.

-Unknown Athena

P.S. I'm in school right now, so that's why I get to post right now. I'm so happy they didn't block blogspot!

Am I dreaming?

I think I'm loosing my mind, or have something wrong in my brain. I called, I e-mailed, I looked it up; and I'm not. I FREAKING WON SOMETHING! How is it possible? How is this not a scam?! Media class (so far) has been all about this stuff! Yet this time, it's real! I got some jewelry from JC (Juicy Couture), it says, and I need to fill out all these form-things. My life used to be in ruins, and now it's growing like a tree! (Photo from www.netstate.com)
And I have Japanese in a few minutes. Who can be depressed with great things like this?

-Unknown Athena

Question: What things in life make you really happy?

What Goes Around Comes Around...

This reminds me so much of last week's English class at school. My teacher asked us, "What really annoys you?" At first I answered the usual stuff, like arrogant people, judgmental people, homelessness, animal cruelty, etc. But now, I have a new one; people going to NYC when they are supposed to have an appointment with you. Grr. Moo. Ribbit. Meow. Bark. Waiting for half an hour just to realize the person you "need" (trust me, I could go without my therapist) isn't there is not my idea of fun. I'd rather eat full-fat ice cream of something!!! Actually I like ice cream, even if I get into my anorexic mind-set after, so maybe more like I'd rather work as a collage math teacher (I'm terrible at math. I have no idea how I got into advanced math)! Now, when that dumb therapist finds a time to "pencil me in", I'm too P/O'd to care. :|

-Unknown Athena

P.S. What annoys you most?

How do you handle it?

Besides recovering from anorexia, I'm also recovering from depression. Some people say that anorexia and depression go hand-in-hand, but I don't get that. It sounds like a terrible marriage to me!! Last night I had a "depression attack" I like to call it. It's when everything is fine until one thing upsets you and you take that sadness to a whole new level. When I had a depression attack, I slept, and stupidly skipped the Ensure. And when you have a huge headache to go with it, life does not feel great; so I stayed home from school today. I brushed my new family member, Delilah, finished my math project, and am now updating le blog. Delilah's the cutest, craziest little pup on the planet; to me. She's a little over a year old (her birthday's in November), and we got her over February break. I swear she's better at keeping down depression than my anti-depressions (which FYI, don't work!). Dogs just do that to you, I guess. They can be a pain in the boot, but they automatically become the love of your life! My mom keeps saying having a dog's like having a baby. Obviously, I can't relate to that (I'm only 13!!), but I love the unconditional love Delilah gives. She even loves my twin brother! How is that possible?!

-Unknown Athena

P.S. If you have "depression-attacks", how do you handle them?

Oh... It's you. Hey there, Ensure...

The one worst thing about gaining weight; Ensure, especially Ensure Plus. If you don't know what Ensure is (and be happy you DON'T have to take it), it's this smoothie-imitation that has a (fill in the blank)-load of vitamins, minerals, and my "good old friend" calories. My favorite flavor is probably vanilla, because the chocolate... It'll never taste like the real thing. And if you ever have to take this terrible excuse for a shake, don't try the strawberry. Supposedly it tastes like pepto-bismle (which I probably spelled SERIOUSLY wrong, but hey, we all have imperfections, right?), and I don't think downing 8 ounces of it would be a joy-ride. So take it from me, don't try this stuff.
Today I got a haircut, which was okay, if you like waiting for an hour to actually sit in the seat :|. Then I went home to cook some dinner; chicken stir-fry with Jasmine rice. My only real fear in the yummy dish was the fact that I added some sesame oil at the end to up the flavor. At first I was thinking of not eating it, but I remembered that isn't an option (thanks, mom), and I like rice. And DBT and CBT. I can't remember what they mean but it was some process in the hospital we [the patients] learned so we can work out problems. Thank the Gods that I'm free from it all! Actually, no, I'm not free. Yet :)

-Unknown Athena

I'm not a God... But I was at some point...

If I said my name, I'd die of embarrassment. So for now, I shall call myself Athena, after the Greek god of wisdom. She's like my ancient role-model; until I screwed up and became anorexic. After around 3 weeks in recovery, and 2 months in the "outside world" I still have the anorexic mindset lingering. So here I am, sharing my life with you, as I regain myself as the Unknown Athena.