9/11

Do any of you remember the day 9/11? Somehow I only remember bits and pieces. I remember that day quite well because that was going to be the day that I was to start preschool. I was dressed in a cute purple dress and little brown boot-things, and my brother... Well why would I remember that? Anyways, when we got to the preschool it was closed, so we went to the Bagel Store because we has afternoon preschool and it was around lunchtime. When we got home me and my brother were sad because we couldn't find Dora the Explorer and all the channels had the same stuff. Our mom made us do something else because she didn't want us to see all the things on the news. My dad was in California at the time (thank God), so he was very very safe. But that day he was supposed to take a flight back and all the airlines closed down and cancelled their flights because of the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers. So he pretty much was stuck in California for an extra week or so. Oh course me and my brother were crying because we missed him, but children have short attention spans so it wasn't too horrible. Yeah, that's my 9/11 story. I feel really bad though because I don't know if I knew anyone that died, but a lot of my friends lost their uncles and aunts and grandparents and such, so it's an awkward blessing to know no one I remember was killed. It sounds bad but if you have a 9/11 story, please share it. Sometimes it's better to share these things, you know?

-Unknown Athena

R.I.P. those who lost their lives on September 11th, 2001

P.S. Random Fact: the only reason those two guys crashed into the twin towers was because they thought God told them to do it. Seriously stop blaming God!!

Vacation vacation....

So boring -_________- I should be doing homework, but remember, I said should, not like I will. Yet... Yeah, I should probably get to that at some point soon...

-Unknown Athena

P.S. How is everyone's vacation? Will anyone comment? I feel lonely :(

If only if only...

... I could block this stupid thought from my head. It's so ridiculous, and I guess I have to tell you since I mentioned it; I like someone. Yeah, crushes. I get why they're called, crushes. They can legit, crush you, even if they don't know it. Looking at those two, it makes me want to crawl into a hole and cry. I know it's all acting (did I tell you guys I'm in my school's musical? I'm an old lady, while everyone else gets to look cute and young-ish. Grr...), and plus the guy's also a "lady-killer" (taken from the script), but I can't block out that ______ thought!!!! This is like, not nice. It's not even real jealousy, because they're only acting, right? They don't have real feelings for each other, right? :(

Oh no, I'm getting worried. And when I'm worried it's hard to eat. I was worried at practice so badly I just let my friend eat half of my sushi, and I need that sushi. I don't want to go back to the hospital (or as I like to call it, Hell). I want to do track. I want to go to camp. I want to go to Spain. I may not want to gain weight, but looking "big" is better than not being seen at all, I guess.

Why is it that I can't be in control? Sadly I'm so passive; I let people practically walk all over me. Help me with this, it's so hard to do alone. How can I refuse? My friends are pretty much as important as family, if not more. How do you say "no" to the ones so close to you?

-Unknown Athena

The City's so pretty

Hey! That rhymes! Currently I'm looking out from my dads new apartment, and I can see the City lights sprinkled across the sky. It's so pretty, I really wish I took my camera! Maybe later I'll watch the end of Julie and Julia, trying not to think about the amount of calories I had today. Sadly my dad's really pushy about things, so I swear when I wasn't looking he snuck more oil into the pan when we were making teriyaki shrimp and chicken.... At least I walked a lot. The mall here is huge, and I got a lot of walking in. I bought a skirt from Wet Seal; and it's love at first sight. The skirt's long, to my ankles, and has a boho-y, hippie-like pattern. Can't wait to wear it!

-Unknown Athena

P.S. What's your favorite place to look at?

That was fast

Did anyone experience that random snowstorm and then all the snow melted away? Yeah, I did, how weird. A half-day of school, for no apparent reason. The snow is gone, spring's slowly (but surely) coming. Or says so my apple seed. It looks like it grew a bit, but I'm not totally sure. Sadly I'm still a bit delerious because I forgot to set my alarm this morning and had the smallest breakfast in probably 5 months; tea, an egg, and oatmeal. My nutritionist would shun me so. She keeps saying she has "no expectations" of me, but that doesn't seem right. So does she think I'm not going to accomplish anything? Or that structure and food don't go well with me (seriously, it's not. Meal plans are not easy, juuuuuust an FYI)? No idea. Anyways, my apple seed looks a bit longer, and my dog's currently chewing up my brothers stuffed-Stewie from Family Guy. Weird? Yes. Funny? Yes. Okay, I'm chill with it. Now Delilah is going crazy again, barking and running around like a mad-man, or mad-dog; whatever. I hope she calms down, she's only about 1 and a half years old, so maybe she has some puppy left in her...?

Grow seed, grow!
-Unknown Athena

P.S. Today at school we had a bake-sale to raise some money to help Japan. A lot of people made stuff; I made some yummy snickerdoodles. All but 2 were sold. I gave $2, in exchange for 3 packages of Koala-no-Machi, this godly Japanese cookie/pastry thing. Love them! For the 7th and 8th grade, we raised $501.00 (Yes, 501, not 500, 501)!!! We haven't counted the sales from the 5th and 6th grade lunches, but it'll probably top ours.

I'm all choked up!

Ahahaha, anyone in the cast of Grease would understand... Someone commented! I'm so happy! I'm also happy because finally, it's nice and sunny out, maybe somewhere between 50-60 degrees out. My confidence is so high I'm wearing a tank top! ^_^ I'm getting weighed this week so hopefully I did well. That stupid crap-in-a-bottle hopefully is working. Also, I signed up for track, so no matter what happens, I'll still get to "run the trail", a.k.a. go down to the lake and come back acting like you ran up and down the trail a gazillion times. Last year it was really fun, especially the high-jump. Seriously, don't diss it 'till you try it :)

Sunny Skies and Butterflies,
Unknown Athena

P.S. What outdoor stuff do you like to do when a random nice day comes?

I felt sad one moment, happy the next, and vise-versa

Today has been one hell of a day. The morning went by in a flurry, because of all that went on. Someone had the nerve to make a hate-page for one of my classmates on Facebook, hack into their account and delete all their friends, trash their locker with hate-notes, and stole some of their science labs! I swear I will kill (okay maybe not kill, but I'll go evil on them) the person who did it. Not only is it mean, but isn't it illegal to steal labs that the state needs to see? Now one of my fellow students has to make up like, 7 freaking hours of labs! I know the classmate and I aren't BFFs or anything, but you just don't DO that! >:O
Now somehow I found a bright side to this day; the weather went from blah to yeah, the sun's still shining, it's warm (when I mean warm I mean warm for the fact it was raining like hell last night; and it was really cold out) out, and my dog's going psychotic because my silly parakeet decides after a whole year of not flying, she'll fly now that we have a dog, and really low. Sometimes I really wonder what goes on in those little brains of theirs.
Also, I gained half a pound! I'm half a step closer to legitimate freedom!

-Unknown Athena

Am I dreaming?

I think I'm loosing my mind, or have something wrong in my brain. I called, I e-mailed, I looked it up; and I'm not. I FREAKING WON SOMETHING! How is it possible? How is this not a scam?! Media class (so far) has been all about this stuff! Yet this time, it's real! I got some jewelry from JC (Juicy Couture), it says, and I need to fill out all these form-things. My life used to be in ruins, and now it's growing like a tree! (Photo from www.netstate.com)
And I have Japanese in a few minutes. Who can be depressed with great things like this?

-Unknown Athena

Question: What things in life make you really happy?

What Goes Around Comes Around...

This reminds me so much of last week's English class at school. My teacher asked us, "What really annoys you?" At first I answered the usual stuff, like arrogant people, judgmental people, homelessness, animal cruelty, etc. But now, I have a new one; people going to NYC when they are supposed to have an appointment with you. Grr. Moo. Ribbit. Meow. Bark. Waiting for half an hour just to realize the person you "need" (trust me, I could go without my therapist) isn't there is not my idea of fun. I'd rather eat full-fat ice cream of something!!! Actually I like ice cream, even if I get into my anorexic mind-set after, so maybe more like I'd rather work as a collage math teacher (I'm terrible at math. I have no idea how I got into advanced math)! Now, when that dumb therapist finds a time to "pencil me in", I'm too P/O'd to care. :|

-Unknown Athena

P.S. What annoys you most?

How do you handle it?

Besides recovering from anorexia, I'm also recovering from depression. Some people say that anorexia and depression go hand-in-hand, but I don't get that. It sounds like a terrible marriage to me!! Last night I had a "depression attack" I like to call it. It's when everything is fine until one thing upsets you and you take that sadness to a whole new level. When I had a depression attack, I slept, and stupidly skipped the Ensure. And when you have a huge headache to go with it, life does not feel great; so I stayed home from school today. I brushed my new family member, Delilah, finished my math project, and am now updating le blog. Delilah's the cutest, craziest little pup on the planet; to me. She's a little over a year old (her birthday's in November), and we got her over February break. I swear she's better at keeping down depression than my anti-depressions (which FYI, don't work!). Dogs just do that to you, I guess. They can be a pain in the boot, but they automatically become the love of your life! My mom keeps saying having a dog's like having a baby. Obviously, I can't relate to that (I'm only 13!!), but I love the unconditional love Delilah gives. She even loves my twin brother! How is that possible?!

-Unknown Athena

P.S. If you have "depression-attacks", how do you handle them?

Oh... It's you. Hey there, Ensure...

The one worst thing about gaining weight; Ensure, especially Ensure Plus. If you don't know what Ensure is (and be happy you DON'T have to take it), it's this smoothie-imitation that has a (fill in the blank)-load of vitamins, minerals, and my "good old friend" calories. My favorite flavor is probably vanilla, because the chocolate... It'll never taste like the real thing. And if you ever have to take this terrible excuse for a shake, don't try the strawberry. Supposedly it tastes like pepto-bismle (which I probably spelled SERIOUSLY wrong, but hey, we all have imperfections, right?), and I don't think downing 8 ounces of it would be a joy-ride. So take it from me, don't try this stuff.
Today I got a haircut, which was okay, if you like waiting for an hour to actually sit in the seat :|. Then I went home to cook some dinner; chicken stir-fry with Jasmine rice. My only real fear in the yummy dish was the fact that I added some sesame oil at the end to up the flavor. At first I was thinking of not eating it, but I remembered that isn't an option (thanks, mom), and I like rice. And DBT and CBT. I can't remember what they mean but it was some process in the hospital we [the patients] learned so we can work out problems. Thank the Gods that I'm free from it all! Actually, no, I'm not free. Yet :)

-Unknown Athena

I'm not a God... But I was at some point...

If I said my name, I'd die of embarrassment. So for now, I shall call myself Athena, after the Greek god of wisdom. She's like my ancient role-model; until I screwed up and became anorexic. After around 3 weeks in recovery, and 2 months in the "outside world" I still have the anorexic mindset lingering. So here I am, sharing my life with you, as I regain myself as the Unknown Athena.