HAH! You Were WRONG, -ISTS!

Yes, that is what I call the people I see on Thursdays: -ists. I see my nutritionist and therapist so I just call them the -ists. They probably thought I was going to loose weight, but NOPE, I MAINTAINED! This is a first, because every other break I've had since the start of my ED, I've lost weight. But this time, I maintained. It must've been thought delicious cookies that me and S found in Maine. They were like a fudge-y, nutty... It was just too good to explain. Think of an underdone brownie with walmuts and huge chunks of chocolate, but as a cookie! I need to go to Maine again...

Hope you all had a good break. Back to school and, ew, Regents prep... Ulh...

-Unknown Athena

P.S. The -ists think that I might be able to start dropping an Ensure Plus and adding an energy bar soon! I'm starting track & field on March 12th, so they're a bit worried about that. But soon, one less 350 (100 fat cals) calorie drink!!!!

Racking in the Cash!

Yay I'm officially a babysitter! This is my first ever job!! Today I took two girls to the movie theatre and watched Puss in Boots (thank Athena it wasn't 3D! 3D ruins movies!). Their parents went out for dinner or something. The girl's parents paid for my ticket, so I only had to buy some ice cream afterward. And I got $40! AND I got Modelland! Success! Yeah, let's just say I'm quite a happy kid... And I absolutely love Tyra Banks. She's my role model. I really want to be like her when I grow up!
Yesterday I went to the nutritionist and she said in the near future I might be about to substitute one of my two Ensure Plus's with legit food! Less Ensure Plus = A happy Unknown Athena! This weekend is going pretty darn well, besides the fact that I have a ton of homework and I only got four hours of sleep last night. -____- At least all my quarterly exams are done... For now...

-Unknown Athena

P.S. What was your first job?

Sorry!!

'Kay, so a few things. One, I'm SO SORRY I haven't posted in like, a week and a half. I've been getting bombed with a bunch of homework, which is living hell. DO the teachers understand we have a life to live here? Seriously, it pisses me off. I have math homework and English homework almost every night. And my Spanish teacher, don't get me started. He's so annoying. He talks to us like we've never spoken Spanish before. We're in Spanish 2 for a reason! :|

Another thing, it's snowing. Snowing. In October. What is this madness?! And it's not that nice, fluffy snow, it's that icky wet snow that is living hell to drive in. I had to withstand giving my mom reassurence for an hour and a half driving less than five miles from our house because 1) she hates driving, 2) she hates driving in icky weather, and 3) she's really emotional and curses like there's no tomorrow when the brakes don't work. I'm seriously wondering how we didn't crash (we were pretty damn close though...). How is everyone supposed to trick-or-treat on Monday? My mom says the snow's gonna melt and the temperature's supposed to warm up, but still. It just doesn't feel right. This feels like the beginning of the end of the world. I've never seen snow fall before Thanksgiving, so when it snows before Halloween, well that's just plain strange. Does anyone else agree with me?

-Unknown Athena

P.S. This is kinda random, but do any of you believe that the world's going to end in 2012?
P.P.S. I tried my Ensure Plus warmed up in the microwave today. It surprisingly tasted a lot better then when it's served cold! So weird!!

Just don't do it, honestly.

So I've been sick for the past week, and finally gave in and didn't go to school yesterday (Friday). Had to miss varsity's game, and emailed my coach telling her that. She probably won't play me in the next game. But she always does that. She never plays me. Actually, she played me a few times, but in a blink of an eye I'm out. It sucks. I've thought of quitting multiple times, but the season's almost over. I can handle it. Only 5 games left, and I'm done.

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Now onto what I really wanna talk about: eating disorders. Yeah, the thing I've had for a year or so, it's done for me, I hope. But not for everyone. Today, I found a whole new part of blogs that freak the crap out of me: ED blogs.
Ever seen 'em? Ya know, the ones with the girls who talk about their binges and purges, weight loss, life problems, all that jazz. It's depressing to look at. It's not even interesting. It's sad. It's something you pity in a person. "Oh, they have an eating disorder, that sucks," the worst part is that you can only comment on their posts and hope the harsh truth gets to them. There are these bloggers who think that wasting themselves skinny by starving themselves and purging TV dinners is totally the norm, and that someone will eventually will help them. Well guess what? They won't. No one is going to help these people with the click of the computer mouse. You have to put in some effort, girls (and guys). I put in my effort. I take those damn Ensure Plus's every freaking day. They taste nasty, yes, but do I drink all 350 of those artificial calories, twice a day? Yes. I want to be healthy, I don't want to starve myself dead. If you want your organs to eat each other, get heart attacks, and get yourself killed, go ahead. But feeling sorry for yourself won't do you any good...

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Oh my GODDESS I finished my rant. Sorry about that, folks. I've just been really annoyed with this so I had to get it out of my system. As you can tell, I'm sick. I'm so sick that Ensure is starting to taste good! HELP ME!

-Unknown Athena

Camp

Camp Camp Camp Camp Camp. I'm excited, nervous, happy, sad, but all I know is I can't wait. I thought I should probably fill you guys in on this just in case there are actually people out there in cyberspace that check on my blog every so often and get pissed off to find no posts for roughly a month. Don't worry, if you do, I'm not dead. I'll be in camp, water skiing (my favorite sport, ever), going on high ropes, mountain boarding, archery, oh, and all the while drinking two Ensure +'s a day. I know, it kinda sucks, but it's most likely the only thing that will keep me in camp, and not home, with my mom in freaking Canada (no offense Canadians, but she doesn't write me there!), and my dad at work. Fun -____-. NOT.

So my point is I'll have fun in camp, and I can't write. Hope to get back to you guys ASAP. :-)

-Unknown Athena

So... The Regents...

They were so freaking easy! Why was I freaking out so much? That math, only two questions I'm 100% sure I got the wrong answer. And yes, that was terrible grammar. Sucks. Anyways, that evil Regent threw my whole body out of wack. I had to have lunch at 11:00, and had my "meds" (A.K.A. a 530 calorie, 145 from fat, "snack", comprised of a Luna Bar and Ensure Plus) at 2:30-ish.

And more annoyingly, I had to wait a whole freaking HOUR (after I had finished my test and checked over all my answers) before my math teacher (the only math teacher authorized to take our finished tests in the whole dang school) got back to our homeroom. All the while, I could only sit and stare at the wall. No reading. No doodling. No taking (it said so in that extensively long list of rules). No nothing. It sucked. But I had gum, so it was okay. Actually the gum was more annoying than helpful because I didn't fee like taking my retainer out during the test. They'd probably think I'd written my notes in it (which is b-t-dubs, GROSS!) or something.

Well, on the bright side (... I'm roughly six feet tall. Nope. more like 5'7 and a half), my friend painted my nails for our "prom". A.K.A, going on a boat for 3 hours. They're shimmery pink and a metallic nude. The combination sounds aweful, but it actually looks pretty good. Now, off to the stupid nutritionist! She'll probably kill me, because I haven't seen her in a month, and haven't don't a single meal plan.

If I live through her, I'll write later!
-Unknown Athena

Blazing Through Books

Just finished up reading My Side of the Mountain. You know, that classic choice book that's so cute with not much of a plot but I still was warped with it kind of book? Yeah, I read it. I feel proud of reading it in only a day. My English teacher will be happy. Now onto the book I really can't wait to tear through; Life As We Knew It. No, not that movie that I never saw but heard it was weird one, the book, by Susan Beth Pfeffer. I'm still not sure how to say her last name, but it looks cool! Anyways, it's a good book, you should read it :)
Ulh, I'm pissed just thinking about this; I lost 3 lbs! 3 pounds I worked my butt off to gain! Now more Ensure... Hate... This.... Help me!

Bookworms Forever!
-Unknown Athena

P.S. What's your favorite read? Which book are you loving right now?

Disclaimer: I don't own the picture in this post

I'm all choked up!

Ahahaha, anyone in the cast of Grease would understand... Someone commented! I'm so happy! I'm also happy because finally, it's nice and sunny out, maybe somewhere between 50-60 degrees out. My confidence is so high I'm wearing a tank top! ^_^ I'm getting weighed this week so hopefully I did well. That stupid crap-in-a-bottle hopefully is working. Also, I signed up for track, so no matter what happens, I'll still get to "run the trail", a.k.a. go down to the lake and come back acting like you ran up and down the trail a gazillion times. Last year it was really fun, especially the high-jump. Seriously, don't diss it 'till you try it :)

Sunny Skies and Butterflies,
Unknown Athena

P.S. What outdoor stuff do you like to do when a random nice day comes?

Oh... It's you. Hey there, Ensure...

The one worst thing about gaining weight; Ensure, especially Ensure Plus. If you don't know what Ensure is (and be happy you DON'T have to take it), it's this smoothie-imitation that has a (fill in the blank)-load of vitamins, minerals, and my "good old friend" calories. My favorite flavor is probably vanilla, because the chocolate... It'll never taste like the real thing. And if you ever have to take this terrible excuse for a shake, don't try the strawberry. Supposedly it tastes like pepto-bismle (which I probably spelled SERIOUSLY wrong, but hey, we all have imperfections, right?), and I don't think downing 8 ounces of it would be a joy-ride. So take it from me, don't try this stuff.
Today I got a haircut, which was okay, if you like waiting for an hour to actually sit in the seat :|. Then I went home to cook some dinner; chicken stir-fry with Jasmine rice. My only real fear in the yummy dish was the fact that I added some sesame oil at the end to up the flavor. At first I was thinking of not eating it, but I remembered that isn't an option (thanks, mom), and I like rice. And DBT and CBT. I can't remember what they mean but it was some process in the hospital we [the patients] learned so we can work out problems. Thank the Gods that I'm free from it all! Actually, no, I'm not free. Yet :)

-Unknown Athena