Fat Fat Fat... I am Fat.

   Volleyball's finally over :( But hopefully I get into club later in November. There are tryouts in two weeks and I'm so nervous! I'm not the worst player, but I'm not the greatest. Now, I don't have anything for exersize. I used to do ab workouts in my room, but my mom caught me once and now every time I'm in my room, she checks in every couple minutes! I'm 15, not 5!

   I went to my nutritionist for the first time this month, and I have good and bad news. The good news is that I'm five-foot-eight, which is the minimum height requirement for modeling (at most places). The bad news is, I'm 129.8 pounds. 129.8! I told her I wasn't upset and the number didn't affect me, but inside I was DYING. Most likely, I gained muscle weight during volleyball, but I hate it. I can still see my collar bones, and hip bones, but you can barely see my ribs. I like my ribs, as weird as that seems :\

On another note, hope everyone on the East Coast gets through Hurricane Sandy! "SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE!"

-Uknown Athena

3 Pounds...

I LOST 3 POUNDS I'M SO UPSET! Normally I would be happy about this but my nutritionist was going to say I would only come every other week or once a month for me! But then somehow I lost 3 pounds over winter break, despite the fact that I ate a ton of food. And no, it was not all diet "safe" foods. Think fat in fat in fat; that's what I felt like I was eating. This irritates me so much! Now I'm about 8 pounds below my goal weight of 125 lbs, not 5 pounds like it was before. Grr. And my "assignment" for the week is to use full-fat salad dressing. I hate having to eat fats, but I did it already. I just had some salad with full fat ranch dressing (Sucks to your as-mar now!! Sorry I say that a lot. Thanks Lord of the Flies...) Now I'm waiting for the main course for tonight: turkey meatloaf with sweet potato and carrots. Even though most people dislike meatloaf, it's not half bad. And because it's turkey meatloaf, it's a lot less fat then using beef. I don't eat beef, anyways. I literally had to pick out all the pieces of beef from my lasagna during my Christmas dinner. Usually I'm not a picky person but for my sanity I must!

Enjoy your evening everyone! Get some sleep to! We gods and goddesses need our beauty sleep, you know...

-Unknown Athena

P.S. I got an 83/100 on my essay for English. I'm so pissed off. I worked my a** off on that evil essay! I think I deserve better than an 83. Plus, it was the honors version of the essay. You need to get above a 93 to have an "H" next to the English 9 credit (H=Honors) on your transcript. Now it won't look as good! And I want to go to RISD for college, so I need every "H" I can get!

Happy New Year!

Sorry this is a bit late, but, Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a splendid vacation (if you had one) and ate lots of yummy foods and had lots of fun. I went to my grandpa's house, then went to my great aunt & uncles house, then went back to my grandpa's house. Slept there. Went home. It was pretty good, I think. I got to see my cousins whom I haven't seen in awhile (by awhile I mean at least 2-3 years), and some other relatives.

We had super-Italian food; lasagna (I had to pick out the pieces of meat because I don't eat red meat), eggplant parm., salad with Italian dressing, ham, chicken, and a hell-of-a-lot-of dessert. There were cookies, upon cookies upon cookies; cakes and cupcakes and pie and tea and coffee and tarts and chocolates and chocolate dipped fruits and carbs alike. It was crazy. Oh, and grapes. Good ol' grapes. I had a ton of them, since they were one of the healthier choices. My mom was so mad when I came home and told her that. She was all like "You should've had more cake and pie and cookies! You need to gain weight!". My response: "I KNOW ALREADY!". It's true. I know I need to gain weight, but knowing and acting are two very different things.

Hope you all have some new years resolutions! I'll post mine sometime soon!

-Unknown Athena

Double Sided Sticky Tape...

There's a lot you all know about me, but also a lot you all don't know about me. You know I was anorexic for awhile. You know I love volleyball and track. You know I love my dog very much. Did I ever talk about how I really want to be a model? If I didn't, I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier. Well, I really want to become a model one day. Don't laugh. It hurts to know that I'm most likely never going to be a model. But I want to. And I think that's okay. I'm 5 foot 7 inches, roughly 120 lbs. I'm not afraid of my body anymore. Personally, I don't give a damn if you tell me it's gross or whatever. I think that's fine for me. I'm tall, thin, and awkward. I like hot cocoa and Teen Vogue. I read Seventeen like there's no tomorrow. Style.com, well, that's another story. It's like my bible.

So this contest I speak of, it sounds really interesting. But I'm not sure that they're looking for a girl like me. The way they say it, they sound like they're looking for a plus size girl who would normally be shunned away by castings. I don't even know if they'd even consider me, but I want to try. What do you think? Do you think I have a chance at this? The prize is a trip to NYC for a photo shoot that may be featured in Seventeen magazine, a modeling contrast with Wilhelmina Models, and $1,000. I think that's pretty good, don't you think? Do you guys think I have a chance at this?...

-Unknown Athena

I'm Back!!

Woah.... Is that.... Oh mah Gawd you look so familliar! Do I know you? Yeah... I think I do... Are you...?

............................

Yeah cool I'm back from camp. *Cry* I knew you guys missed me! Okay maybe not. You have lives so it's no biggie. But yeah I'm here again, back to civilization with icky noise pollution, small skies, too much electricity.... No me gusta este ciudad. Did I say that right? Hope so....

Camp was great, as usual. All the people I saw in years past were there again, as well as a bunch of new people from near and far. There were girls from Venezuela, France, Taiwan, China, Turkey... Let's just say it was hard to rant a mile a minute. The counselors were from all over as well. There were people from Scotland, England, Ireland, Australia, and in places I-can't-pronounce-because-I-only-took-one-year-of-geography.


There's my lovely wrist. It acquired quite the load of bracelets this year. I have more on my wrist as I type this, but it's 10:20 p.m. and I really don't feel like taking the time to take another pictures and re-uploading all 300-something of my pictures and videos on my camera (my camera's weird... Okay?).
There's everyone's lovely feet as we wait on the line for camp store. All the times my anorexic mind-set kicked in and said not to buy candy and junk when I was 15 numbers away from being called in. Surprisingly I did quite well maintaining my weight for the past four weeks. Even when I ditched the second Ensure Plus for the last two weeks (the nurses didn't notice. how sad)...

Oh joy I'm too tired to finish this post. Well, have a good night everyone!

-Unknown Athena

Blazing Through Books

Just finished up reading My Side of the Mountain. You know, that classic choice book that's so cute with not much of a plot but I still was warped with it kind of book? Yeah, I read it. I feel proud of reading it in only a day. My English teacher will be happy. Now onto the book I really can't wait to tear through; Life As We Knew It. No, not that movie that I never saw but heard it was weird one, the book, by Susan Beth Pfeffer. I'm still not sure how to say her last name, but it looks cool! Anyways, it's a good book, you should read it :)
Ulh, I'm pissed just thinking about this; I lost 3 lbs! 3 pounds I worked my butt off to gain! Now more Ensure... Hate... This.... Help me!

Bookworms Forever!
-Unknown Athena

P.S. What's your favorite read? Which book are you loving right now?

Disclaimer: I don't own the picture in this post

I'm all choked up!

Ahahaha, anyone in the cast of Grease would understand... Someone commented! I'm so happy! I'm also happy because finally, it's nice and sunny out, maybe somewhere between 50-60 degrees out. My confidence is so high I'm wearing a tank top! ^_^ I'm getting weighed this week so hopefully I did well. That stupid crap-in-a-bottle hopefully is working. Also, I signed up for track, so no matter what happens, I'll still get to "run the trail", a.k.a. go down to the lake and come back acting like you ran up and down the trail a gazillion times. Last year it was really fun, especially the high-jump. Seriously, don't diss it 'till you try it :)

Sunny Skies and Butterflies,
Unknown Athena

P.S. What outdoor stuff do you like to do when a random nice day comes?

I felt sad one moment, happy the next, and vise-versa

Today has been one hell of a day. The morning went by in a flurry, because of all that went on. Someone had the nerve to make a hate-page for one of my classmates on Facebook, hack into their account and delete all their friends, trash their locker with hate-notes, and stole some of their science labs! I swear I will kill (okay maybe not kill, but I'll go evil on them) the person who did it. Not only is it mean, but isn't it illegal to steal labs that the state needs to see? Now one of my fellow students has to make up like, 7 freaking hours of labs! I know the classmate and I aren't BFFs or anything, but you just don't DO that! >:O
Now somehow I found a bright side to this day; the weather went from blah to yeah, the sun's still shining, it's warm (when I mean warm I mean warm for the fact it was raining like hell last night; and it was really cold out) out, and my dog's going psychotic because my silly parakeet decides after a whole year of not flying, she'll fly now that we have a dog, and really low. Sometimes I really wonder what goes on in those little brains of theirs.
Also, I gained half a pound! I'm half a step closer to legitimate freedom!

-Unknown Athena

Oh... It's you. Hey there, Ensure...

The one worst thing about gaining weight; Ensure, especially Ensure Plus. If you don't know what Ensure is (and be happy you DON'T have to take it), it's this smoothie-imitation that has a (fill in the blank)-load of vitamins, minerals, and my "good old friend" calories. My favorite flavor is probably vanilla, because the chocolate... It'll never taste like the real thing. And if you ever have to take this terrible excuse for a shake, don't try the strawberry. Supposedly it tastes like pepto-bismle (which I probably spelled SERIOUSLY wrong, but hey, we all have imperfections, right?), and I don't think downing 8 ounces of it would be a joy-ride. So take it from me, don't try this stuff.
Today I got a haircut, which was okay, if you like waiting for an hour to actually sit in the seat :|. Then I went home to cook some dinner; chicken stir-fry with Jasmine rice. My only real fear in the yummy dish was the fact that I added some sesame oil at the end to up the flavor. At first I was thinking of not eating it, but I remembered that isn't an option (thanks, mom), and I like rice. And DBT and CBT. I can't remember what they mean but it was some process in the hospital we [the patients] learned so we can work out problems. Thank the Gods that I'm free from it all! Actually, no, I'm not free. Yet :)

-Unknown Athena