My Laziness to Post is Scary

Hey everyone! I'm back from camp! 4 week without technology... IN THE BAG! Okay, so I used my phone maybe once or twice to inform my parents on what to send me, but other than that, I stuck to snail-mail.

So camp was awesome. I met a ton of people from all over the world. Pakistan, Nigeria, Scotland, China, Australia, Russia, France, Spain, Venezuela... You name a place, I know someone from there. There were even two guys who asked me to the camp dances.

Literally, my heart raced both times. The first time, it was weird because I barely knew the guy, and he didn't call my pretty. He called me "hot". Sure, I'll take the compliment, but trust me guys, it's better to call a girl pretty than hot. The next session, a guy from Nigeria asked me. We were in the same soccer intensive that morning, and his sister was in my cabin. His whole cabin came to pick my cabin up, to walk us to the dance. It was really sweet. Let's call the guy "P", held my hand the whole way while we talked about corruption and weird things in America. Yup, how romantic. There were only a few slow dances, but when they did play, we danced together. We were so close that our foreheads were practically touching! I never danced with anyone like that. It felt strange, but in a good way. A few of the girls in my cabin said he was leaning in to kiss me (!!!!!), but I didn't notice. It would have been nice to have my first kiss like that. I mean, I'd never see him again, but then it wouldn't be so awkward. Plus, he left the next day because it was the end of camp. But before he left, he told me he liked me. Not just as a friend, like he had romantic feelings for me. That was a first. The whole experiance was a first, and not just with guys. I sang in front of the whole camp. Twice. I sang "Drops of Jupiter" by Train and "Blackbird" by The Beatles. My legs were shaking the whole time, but I got so many compliments afterward. All I could say was "thank you", because if I said, "No, I'm not that good of a singer", that would make me seem like I was fishing for more compliments, which would not be the idea.

I'm gonna miss camp so much. 6 years, hot damn. Next summer, maybe I'll go back as a CIT, but I know that I can't stay there forever. I'll have to get a "real job", whatever that means...

On another note, my eating wasn't much of a problem. I got sick once, but that was most likely because I had a big salad at lunch and dinner, so I "had too much roughage" according to the camp nurse. Sure, I skimped out on fats and carbs a lot, but only because I let myself have a treat from the camp store every so often. The "treats" would range from a fudge pop to Sour Patch Kids or Skinny Cow Ice Cream (they had it, and my day was made).

I gained a lot of muscle, too. When I got home last week, pre-season for volleyball started. I ran an 8 minute and 12 second mile yesterday. Hope I improve!

Enjoy the rest of your summers!

-Unknown Athena

P.S. Sorry this was such a long post. Hope I didn't bore you...

To be or not to be, THAT is the question

This week I've been debating whether or not I consider myself to be pro-ana. I finally realized what the term "pro-ana" means a month or so ago; it means to be for anorexia. My former self was all for it, and I almost killed myself with the damn disease! But now that I'm recovering, I'm not so sure what I think of it. Anorexia is no joke. Anorexia can't just be erased. I still sometimes think of fasting or dieting or over-exersizing or giving away my food (which I still do... sometimes). I know it's not good and I shouldn't be doing it, but I can't help it. The ED (eating-disorder) still manifests within myself. I still pick the "safe" foods over the fatty, other choices, but I at least know that I'm doing something wrong. Look up the song "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin' Park. That song pretty much sums up how I felt pre-hospital, pre-relapse, and every now and again. Uuuuuulh my mind is spinning and I really don't like it!

-Uknown Athena

P.S. I have so much homework! I have Japanese, science, math, and a TON of English homework! Wish me luck while I bust my goddess-booty finishing it all while watching my guilty pleasure, Cupcake Wars :-)

You were only waiting for this moment to arrive...

... Not really. Falling on my face in the middle of a semi-crowded hallway is not something I really was waiting for. So yeah, I fell on my face. Like a baby. Why? My shoes. My stupid, skater-looking DC's are the ones to blame. More specifically, the laces. They're like, as long as my height, completely unlaced. Even when they're tied, they still drag along at least a foot or so. There were a bunch of Juniors and Seniors in the hall because they had second lunch, so that was pretty embarrassing. Luckily one of the girls in Art Club came over and helped me up. She's really nice, that girl. She's that kind of person that you could never hate because she seems so pure. Not many people like that exist, sadly, and I am not one of them. Not saying that I'm a mean person, I'm just not that obvious.

My knees are still sore, and they look like they're starting to bruise. During study hall, which was the next period, I cut my laces super-short and tied the ends together, because one of my friends freaked out. "No! Not the aglets!" He said. I don't remember how to spell "aglets", but that's how it sounds. It's that little plastic seal at the ends of shoe laces. Well, they went bye-bye! HAHA!

-Unknown Athena

P.S. My inspiration for the title was Blackbird, if you couldn't tell >.< Yay Beatles! I love them so much!