Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Nervous!

Today I have my first scrimage for volleyball. I'm so nervous! There are now 9 girls on my team in total. One of the freshmen quit to join the cheerleading squad. I literally died. Competitive cheer is one thing, but to quit volleyball to cheer for sweaty Juniors and Seniors who don't care at football games? Weird...

So yeah, I'm nervous. We technically don't have enough people to play, but we're pulling the two sophomores on Varsity to play on JV for now but act like they're trying out for Varsity. Lying is fun :)

I ate a bowl of Kashi instant oatmeal and a cup of hot cocoa (AKA: Nesquik and 1% milk in the microwave). I hope that'll sustain me until lunch, if I eat any...

Stay strong!
-Unknown Athena

Monday, August 27, 2012

Excited and Nervous: School

School starts on the 4th of September. I'm so nervous but also excited. I'm nervous because I don't know all of my teachers, but excited to see what sophomore year holds for me.

My Schedule:
P1: AP World
P2: Algebra 2
P3: English 10
P4: Health/Band
P5: Art
P6: Spanish 3
P7: Chemistry
P8: Lab/P.E./Study Hall
There's a volleyball scrimage tomorrow. There's only 10 girls on my team, total. Only 7 or 8 can make it. On the bright side... More court time for me!
Enjoy the rest of the summer!
-Unknown Athena

Friday, August 24, 2012

My Laziness to Post is Scary

Hey everyone! I'm back from camp! 4 week without technology... IN THE BAG! Okay, so I used my phone maybe once or twice to inform my parents on what to send me, but other than that, I stuck to snail-mail.

So camp was awesome. I met a ton of people from all over the world. Pakistan, Nigeria, Scotland, China, Australia, Russia, France, Spain, Venezuela... You name a place, I know someone from there. There were even two guys who asked me to the camp dances.

Literally, my heart raced both times. The first time, it was weird because I barely knew the guy, and he didn't call my pretty. He called me "hot". Sure, I'll take the compliment, but trust me guys, it's better to call a girl pretty than hot. The next session, a guy from Nigeria asked me. We were in the same soccer intensive that morning, and his sister was in my cabin. His whole cabin came to pick my cabin up, to walk us to the dance. It was really sweet. Let's call the guy "P", held my hand the whole way while we talked about corruption and weird things in America. Yup, how romantic. There were only a few slow dances, but when they did play, we danced together. We were so close that our foreheads were practically touching! I never danced with anyone like that. It felt strange, but in a good way. A few of the girls in my cabin said he was leaning in to kiss me (!!!!!), but I didn't notice. It would have been nice to have my first kiss like that. I mean, I'd never see him again, but then it wouldn't be so awkward. Plus, he left the next day because it was the end of camp. But before he left, he told me he liked me. Not just as a friend, like he had romantic feelings for me. That was a first. The whole experiance was a first, and not just with guys. I sang in front of the whole camp. Twice. I sang "Drops of Jupiter" by Train and "Blackbird" by The Beatles. My legs were shaking the whole time, but I got so many compliments afterward. All I could say was "thank you", because if I said, "No, I'm not that good of a singer", that would make me seem like I was fishing for more compliments, which would not be the idea.

I'm gonna miss camp so much. 6 years, hot damn. Next summer, maybe I'll go back as a CIT, but I know that I can't stay there forever. I'll have to get a "real job", whatever that means...

On another note, my eating wasn't much of a problem. I got sick once, but that was most likely because I had a big salad at lunch and dinner, so I "had too much roughage" according to the camp nurse. Sure, I skimped out on fats and carbs a lot, but only because I let myself have a treat from the camp store every so often. The "treats" would range from a fudge pop to Sour Patch Kids or Skinny Cow Ice Cream (they had it, and my day was made).

I gained a lot of muscle, too. When I got home last week, pre-season for volleyball started. I ran an 8 minute and 12 second mile yesterday. Hope I improve!

Enjoy the rest of your summers!
-Unknown Athena
P.S. Sorry this was such a long post. Hope I didn't bore you...

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Off to Camp!

My week has been fun and busy. Busy and fun. Fun fun fun, and busy, busy, busy. This past week, I was in Maine, which was fantastic. My friends, S, Z and T, let's call them, came with me, and we had a blast. We went shopping in Portland, and went to the beach a lot. The water's so cold there! And while it was in the 70s and 80s in Maine, it was in the 90s and 100s in New York. HAH!

I came home on Friday, and this morning I visited my twin brother J at his camp in MA. We went out to lunch with our parents and my dog, and we found Alice's Resteraunt (the one from that Woody Guthry song). It was cool. I got stationary. Then we went to my dad's house and had dinner with my grandpa who recently moved in. He's been in poor health, but he seemed a lot more happy and energetic, probably because my dog was there. He likes dogs. He should get one when his health improves.

Around 8 was when I got home, and because my camp doesn't offer computers or internet access, this shall be my last post for a month, unless in two weeks I can visit the town's library during Visiting Day and sneak a post...

Can't wait for camp tomorrow! Hope you all have a wonderful, happy and healthy summer! My goal is to build a bit of muscle in camp. There's tons to do, so I'll never be caught chilling in my bunk ;)

-Unknown Athena

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Cured?

Just got back from the nutritionist. I hadn't seen her in a really long time (maybe a month or so?), so we had a nice little chat. We were talking about my "feelings" about my eating disorder. Do I define myself by my eating disorder. What does my eating disorder mean to me? All that kind of stuff. She thinks that this will be one of the last times I'll see her in her office again!

But does that mean I'm cured? Will my eating disorder vanish? Will Ana ever come back? Will I remember her if she returns? I'm kind of confused as to whether or not I can call myself "cured" or anorexia and depression. I still get depressed. I still feel fat, but does that make me an anorexic? Even if it lingers like old perfume, will I still be able to say I'm "cured"? I'm not sure if I can let it all go yet. I spent so much time on Ana: tracking calories, exercising my a** off, restricting, skipping social events... Can I really just blow it off like dust?

Hope you are enjoying the Summer!
-Unknown Athena

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Feeling Fat in NYC

Hey everybody! So today I went to NYC, because my mom and my aunt were going to see a play. They have some subscription thing to see a play every month, because they flipping love the theatre. I came along to hang out with my cousin whom I haven't seen in forever. She's an EMS, and is pretty much always on the job. We hung out while our moms watched their play. They said it was about some guy who had a 6 foot 3 imaginary friend that was a bunny... Strange, but okay. So my cousin and I went to the big Forever 21 with 5 floors, and "window shopped" because all the things I tried on didn't fit me and the one shirt I liked didn't have my size. Go figure, we weren't meant to be :(. Then we went to Godiva where my other cousin works and got two free chocolates. Once we left the nice air-conditioned chocolate haven, we went to Aeropostale because my cousin (who is 22 now) wanted to get shirts. When Aeropostale had a sale, GO. The shirts were 2 for $10, and usually $30 each. I am not going to shell out that kind of money for a shirt worth less than $10, so it was good. I didn't get anything, but my cousin got some stuff. After that, we went to Sephora where I got some Hello Kitty perfume and my birthday gift from them, a fresh lip set. It smells really good. I can't wait to use them!

Once we were done with that, we met back up with our moms and my cousin who works at Godiva came and we ate some Thai food. It was good, but really filling. I had chicken Pad Thai, which is like full flavor and fat city. I ate a lot because my mom was watching me the whole time like I would die if I didn't eat every flipping bite. Then she made me have some sticky rice which tasted like nothing, and some mango ice cream that was more like ice than cream. At least we got to go to Sanrio afterwards. My old Hello Kitty lunchbox is "too small" (a.k.a. normal sized, but my mom, who rules my life, says I need another one), I needed another one. I got a cute hemp-like bag to serve as a new lunch box. It's cute. I like it.

Once I came home and walked the pup, my mom drilled me into eating half a bag of Nestle Dark Chocolate Morsels. I feel sick now. I was never a bulemic, but I want to throw up right now. I just feel like total $h!t. Ever had one of those moments? Yeah, that's me right now. After a real good day, it kind of stinks to feel this way.

I've been having the worst sleeping habits recently. I've gone to bed around two am and waking up between 10 and 12 noon. Maybe when my mom falls asleep (she's a deep sleeper), I can get in a quick workout in the basement. Hopefully the dog doesn't bark or anything. She's not much of a music pup. I don't understand her at all.

Hope you all had a spectacular day. Stay strong!
-Unknown Athena

Friday, July 6, 2012

Tell It Like It Is!

I follow lots of blogs, and even though some of them can be a bit dreary and unhelpful towards my recovery, they are so true! I was reading one blog, called (Size) Zero Intentions, and one of her posts made me almost jump up and want to shout and run around and do happy dances. Though I have never experienced these "haters", I think they should leave. Now. Silent haters, I don't mind. Hate in your mind, not on the internet, or to anyone or anywhere else for that matter. Click here to read the post. She should get a cyber hug for that. I'm actually a pretty shy person in real life, but on the internet, I'm a lot more out there, if that makes any sense. I'm not as afraid to speak my mind as in school or at home where my twin brother judges me like there's no flipping tomorrow. I've probably said this a million times, but we are polar opposites. He's sporty, and I'm lazy. I get good grades, he's average. We're different.

On another (and happier) note, I got to finally go swimming at my friend's pool. It's been really really hot, so when she called me, I practically wanted to run to her house, even though it's on the other side of town. So I went swimming, and got some exercise in, even though I had biked a few miles before in the terrible heat. Hopefully I can build some muscle in camp so when volleyball season starts, maybe I'll be a starting player on the team. Only 6 are allowed on the court at a time, so it's a real jungle trying to get the coach to both like you and think you're good.

Don't die in the heat my darlings xx
-Unknown Athena
P.S. I feel lonely sometimes... Don't be afraid to comment! I like to know that someone out there reads this :)

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Nothing Can Compare to the Lack of Posting...

Oh hey guys, so, I haven't checked in with you for quite some time... I'm really sorry about that. My life has been really really busy lately, so the computer has felt like miles away from me. But I shall put my whole life from last time I posted until now in a pretty way, if you want to read it...

June 22nd, 2012:
I celebrated my last day of school (though I hadn't been in school since the 20th), and my birthday a day early. I had a BBQ at the park with a bunch of my friends, and we had a pretty good time, nix the rain, thunder and lightning. Hey, at least we got front row seats, if you know what I mean. We all hid under the pavillion like idiots, and blew bubbles while we waited for it to stop thundering. We were right there, near the water. It was both frightning and exillerating!

June 23rd, 2012:
My birthday! Except I didn't really spend it on myself. That morning, I went to my neighbor's bar mitzvah, which was okay, because I only went to the morning services. It was kinda cute, because my neighbor loves baseball. I mean, he really loves baseball, so the whole thing revolved around that. Then I slept a bit afterwards and went to my first Sweet 16. It was awesome, I'm not gonna lie. There was a Japanese theme, so there were candles and pink shells and origami people on the tables... It was seriously awesome! Plus it was at a fancy shmancy place, so that was a plus.

June 24th, 2012:
This day was fun, as well as (mostly) the whole week. I started volleyball camp at the high school, and I worked on my serve and hits. I was mainly helping the little kids, so they all looked up to me like I was God, along with a few of my friends from the volleyball team. Apparently I'm Queen of the Floor Nation, because I dove for the ball a lot and somehow ending up on the floor after almost every single play.

June 25th, 2012:
Had to help my dad and grandpa pack. My grandpa's kid sister passed away earlier this month, and my grandpa passed a few years ago, so he's going to move in with my dad. My really snotty aunt came over the next day and took all of my grandma's old jewelry. She brought my cousins, so my grandpa couldn't complain. I seriously want to kick my aunt in the vagina... She left nothing for me. She hadn't talked to my grandpa in almost 2 freaking years, and then just comes over and takes all of grandma's things, and leaves. What a bitch, I tell you!

June 26th, 2012:
Had to go to the doctor's office to get a physical; height, weight, blood pressure, all that jazz. Then I had to get two shots, for reasons I'm not really sure of. If I didn't tell you yet, I have the biggest fear of needles, ever, it's ridiculous! One of them was a two-part thing, so I have to go back in December to get the second half. I was a crying mess. I was shaking and bawling like a baby. My right arm got the shot that went into my muscle, so it was sore for a few days. The left arn got the other one, so it wasn't so bad. But still, I hate myself for being such a baby.

June 27th and 28th, 2012:
Flipping heat waves, enough said. Volleyball was hell because the gym felt like a million and two degrees F.

June 29th, 2012:
Because I was too much of a bloody, bawling mess on Wednesday, I had to go back to get bloodwork done on Friday. I was hyperventilating and shivering, and felt like I had a hangover afterwards (I've never been drunk or hungover, so I'm just using the word from what I've been told) because I was really dizzy. Then I went home and played with Delilah, so it was better

June 30th, 2012:
Got my late grandma's sewing machine back. It's from the 1950's (I think the guy at the Singer Store said 1955 was when they were manufactured), and hadn't been used in a good ten years or so, and it really needed some TLC. Me and my dad tried oiling it with 3-in-1 oil that you would use in cars... Bad idea. But the people over at the Singer Store fixed it up and now it runs perfect! After we took the sewing machine back, my dad and I went over to the diner and had lunch. Being in a fat-feeling mood, I got a salad with grilled chicken and honey mustard. It was pretty good and filling.

July 1st, 2012:
Felt like shit, so I literally slept all day. My mom woke me up for meals, but other than that, I slept like a baby.

July 2nd, 2012:
More shit-feeling, but less. My mom forced me to go to Kohls to get bras and shorts for camp, because I'm lacking proper shorts (they have to touch your thumbs or lower when your arms are at your sides...) and bras that actually fit me... Then I went home and slept more. I swear I'm becoming more and more like an owl... Or just a fat bear who hibernates during the summer.

So that is my life up until now. Hope you didn't fall asleep. My life isn't all fun and games, it's actually quite boring :\

Hope you stay cool in the heat! xx
-Unknown Athena

Thursday, June 21, 2012

No Me Gusta Heat Waves

It is ridiculously hot out. Think in the high 90's! It's crazy. Yesterday, I was stupid and decided to take a bike ride along the river, and there was zero wind. Nada. Nothing. I'm pretty sure that I looked like I got sprayed with water, but that water was sweat. Gross. Meh.

When I got home I took the coldest shower of my life, but it still didn't feel that cold because I was so hot. At least I got to go swimming in my friend's pool afterwards. That's one of the perks of having friends with pools; you get to go in them! It was for some Girl Scout party, because we finished our hell-ish year. Yes, I'm a Girl Scout. Laugh all you freaking want. But I have access to the cookies, so I pretty much am a Goddess of the Cookies :3

On another note, I feel fat as heck because I had a lot of fear foods there:
-Pizza
-Pasta
-Full-fat dressing on salad
-Cake
-Cupcakes

It was like I was in an inescapable horror movie. So many fatty foods, and I couldn't say no! All the girls in the troop had made them, so I couldn't just say "No thanks" because it would be rude, and saying "I don't want to get fat" as a reason would be super rude.

So yeah, that's my summary of events. Oh yeah, I had my Geometry Regent on Wednesday. It was unbelievably easy. My teacher kept saying, "It will be really hard [so study your a** off]", but it was the easiest thing I ever did in Freshman year! Now I'm considered a Sophomore... It's weird...

Don't die in the heat!
-Unknown Athena

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Deep Breathes, Athena, Deep Breathes

I need to rant. Like. Now. So, you're kinda, sorta, going to be reading my rants that the world can now see... IN HD! Just kidding. Maybe not. Okay I'm totally lying. *Deep breath* My ranting starts now:

My house smells like $h!t, my dog smells like $h!t, I feel like $h!t, my mom made me eat like a bulimic, my mom's being a nag, my dog's an idiot, it's 11:30 at night, I'm cold, I'm tired, I'm eating even though I'm deathly full, I'm scared I won't make the volleyball team, I'm probably going to miss Fashion's Night Out, my brother's acting like a know-it-all, I'm tired, it's too loud, Zoe doesn't know how to use a bu-day (even though she's Portuguese), I don't even know how to spell bu-day, and Shana's Budew won't freaking evolve!

... There, I'm done. A freaking skunk made my dog go nuts and get infested with that gross skunk-y smell, my mom was yelling, my brother was doing nothing, and I had to give my stupid dog a bath at eleven o'clock at night. Last Saturday of Summer = Ruined.

Goodnight!
-Unknown Athena


Wednesday, August 31, 2011

365 days, 524 recipes, 1 tiny apartment kitchen {and 6 days 'till Hell, oh I mean school}

Julie & Julia: A.K.A. my favorite summer read next to the Hunger Games series (have I mentioned how much I love the Hunger Games?). I started it, uh, two days ago? And I'm on page 100-somethingth. I feels accomplished. This book sounds a lot like what all my friends in text, but not so much the aspect of French cooking. Some favorite excerpts:

*"Unbidden, the word violate popped into my head. 'It's like bone rape. Oh God, did I just say that out loud?'"

*Of course the cow I got marrow from had a fairly crappy life- lots of crowds and 0vermedication and bland food that might or might not have been a relative." (Sounds a lot like America, don't you think?

* "'It's like eating life. It's almost like eating my own life, you know?' 'No, not really. But it's a hell of a good steak, sis.'"

... And that's just two pages. Think of the other grotesque and/or funny lines in the other 307 pages? Why is reading about other peoples lives so much more fun than your own? Seriously, it's true. Don't deny it. Unless you're highly famous, or extremely rich. Then I'll let you off the hook. Other than that, it's undeniably true.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For me, and probably the rest of the youth of New York, school starts in 6 days. Six. Miniscule. Days. How did summer go by so fast? Oh joy, Wake Me Up When September Ends is echoing in the back of my head. Not what I planned but okay.

What did you guys do this summer? Vacation in tropical locations? Get bitten to death by mosquitoes in sleep-away camp? Doze the days away? Study? (the last one was a joke. honestly) I went to camp, which explains why there's a good month-long chunk of time blank where blog posts were supposed to go. No exotic vacations. No cute tell-tale romances (or any romances for that matter). No plastic-encased memories from ridiculously overpriced gift shops. Just some pictures on my camera and a bunch of new friends. :-)

-Unknown Athena

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

NaNoWriMo (No, this is not an Alien Apocalypse)

Okay, who knows what in the name of Earth is NaNoWriMo?

*awkward silence*
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Neither did I until I checked on my Blogger-News-Feed-thing and saw my lovely friend Mischief Managed's newest two posts. Both of which are about her NaNoWriMo entries she attempted at. She says she failed. I saw it rocks. Just for the sake of being bored and wanting a cute read, read the freaking post. It'll take you a mere three-five minutes, depending on how fast you read. If you can't read online to save yourself (hi! *waves madly at you*), maybe it'll take five-eight minutes. But who cares about time. It's the summer, where we get bored with the amount of time given to "finish summer reading" (hahaha, summer reading). So please, just read it. Maybe even post a comment. It would be nice. I did. You can too. You have fingers, and a proper education. Just do it. Like Adidas, or wait, is that Nike?...

-Unknown Athena

Saturday, August 20, 2011

I'm Back!!


Woah.... Is that.... Oh mah Gawd you look so familliar! Do I know you? Yeah... I think I do... Are you...?

............................

Yeah cool I'm back from camp. *Cry* I knew you guys missed me! Okay maybe not. You have lives so it's no biggie. But yeah I'm here again, back to civilization with icky noise pollution, small skies, too much electricity.... No me gusta este ciudad. Did I say that right? Hope so....

Camp was great, as usual. All the people I saw in years past were there again, as well as a bunch of new people from near and far. There were girls from Venezuela, France, Taiwan, China, Turkey... Let's just say it was hard to rant a mile a minute. The counselors were from all over as well. There were people from Scotland, England, Ireland, Australia, and in places I-can't-pronounce-because-I-only-took-one-year-of-geography.


There's my lovely wrist. It acquired quite the load of bracelets this year. I have more on my wrist as I type this, but it's 10:20 p.m. and I really don't feel like taking the time to take another pictures and re-uploading all 300-something of my pictures and videos on my camera (my camera's weird... Okay?).
There's everyone's lovely feet as we wait on the line for camp store. All the times my anorexic mind-set kicked in and said not to buy candy and junk when I was 15 numbers away from being called in. Surprisingly I did quite well maintaining my weight for the past four weeks. Even when I ditched the second Ensure Plus for the last two weeks (the nurses didn't notice. how sad)...


Oh joy I'm too tired to finish this post. Well, have a good night everyone!

-Unknown Athena

Saturday, May 21, 2011

"HANDS UP!"

Alright, I haven't posted in what, over a month?! I'm crazy, and I'm really sorry. But, I can explain. I actually have a few reasons, and maybe you'll understand a bit. Yes? No? Well then...

1) My laptop died. I'm not talking about the battery. It just died. It's being evil on me. But the poor thing's lived a long life since 2003. First it was my dad's laptop for work, and it got worked to death. Then somehow it became mine, and it was a pretty good laptop, nix all the Trogen-virus-things it's had in it's lifetime. But now, may it rest in peace... Until I can think of a way to fix it.

2) School. I have three regents to prepare for. A "Living Environment" Regent (A.K.A. a fancy-shancy way of saying "Biology"), an "Intergraded (Can't spell it...) Algebra" one, and a "Spanish 1" one. And I wasn't for school in two weeks (I'll explain in #3), so when I came back to school I was a dumb blond in Harvard; confused.

3) I relapsed. I relapsed, I relapsed I FREAKING RELAPSED. I didn't want to. I didn't even fully try. It just happened. And I went back. For three freaking weeks. And on the Monday of Spring Break, too. Life is just not fair my fellow cyber-surfers. Not. Effing. FAIR.

Every day at that "prison", I like to call it, was exasperatingly painful. I mean, I did have some fun times, coloring and making bracelets and playing dumb with the doctors, but in total, it pretty much sucked. And the last two days before my discharge, I was crying. I was in freaking HYSTERICS. I was so scared. Scared that I may relapse. Scared that I'd miss all the regents, or fail them. Or not go to the Boat Dance (the 8th grade equivalent of a prom), or even graduate middle school. The school that everyone graduates. But that was just me thinking of worst-case scenarios, so hopefully none of that happens. And I already got my boat dance dress, so if I can't go I may as well kill someone.

Happy Killings,
Unknown Athena

P.S. I'm really sorry, about not posting. The hospital doesn't have computers!!
P.P.S. In happy news, my apple plant is like, a foot tall. And has lots of leaves. YAY!!!