Showing posts with label depressed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depressed. Show all posts

Friday, November 16, 2012

Ulh...

   I feel like a pig. My and my friend, F, were chillin' out and watching Say Yes To The Dress, and my mom brought us a bag of pita chips. F is skinny as hell, and even though everyone says I'm skinny, I feel like the f*cking potato. F ate maybe ten pita chips, whereas I ate around thirty.

   On another awful note, I didn't get accepted to one of the volleyball clubs I tried out for. I feel like $h!t. Not only am I fat, but I suck at volleyball. The club I'm trying out for next week is even more competitive.

Excuse me while I go cry.
 
-Uknown Athena

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Nothing Can Compare to the Lack of Posting...

Oh hey guys, so, I haven't checked in with you for quite some time... I'm really sorry about that. My life has been really really busy lately, so the computer has felt like miles away from me. But I shall put my whole life from last time I posted until now in a pretty way, if you want to read it...

June 22nd, 2012:
I celebrated my last day of school (though I hadn't been in school since the 20th), and my birthday a day early. I had a BBQ at the park with a bunch of my friends, and we had a pretty good time, nix the rain, thunder and lightning. Hey, at least we got front row seats, if you know what I mean. We all hid under the pavillion like idiots, and blew bubbles while we waited for it to stop thundering. We were right there, near the water. It was both frightning and exillerating!

June 23rd, 2012:
My birthday! Except I didn't really spend it on myself. That morning, I went to my neighbor's bar mitzvah, which was okay, because I only went to the morning services. It was kinda cute, because my neighbor loves baseball. I mean, he really loves baseball, so the whole thing revolved around that. Then I slept a bit afterwards and went to my first Sweet 16. It was awesome, I'm not gonna lie. There was a Japanese theme, so there were candles and pink shells and origami people on the tables... It was seriously awesome! Plus it was at a fancy shmancy place, so that was a plus.

June 24th, 2012:
This day was fun, as well as (mostly) the whole week. I started volleyball camp at the high school, and I worked on my serve and hits. I was mainly helping the little kids, so they all looked up to me like I was God, along with a few of my friends from the volleyball team. Apparently I'm Queen of the Floor Nation, because I dove for the ball a lot and somehow ending up on the floor after almost every single play.

June 25th, 2012:
Had to help my dad and grandpa pack. My grandpa's kid sister passed away earlier this month, and my grandpa passed a few years ago, so he's going to move in with my dad. My really snotty aunt came over the next day and took all of my grandma's old jewelry. She brought my cousins, so my grandpa couldn't complain. I seriously want to kick my aunt in the vagina... She left nothing for me. She hadn't talked to my grandpa in almost 2 freaking years, and then just comes over and takes all of grandma's things, and leaves. What a bitch, I tell you!

June 26th, 2012:
Had to go to the doctor's office to get a physical; height, weight, blood pressure, all that jazz. Then I had to get two shots, for reasons I'm not really sure of. If I didn't tell you yet, I have the biggest fear of needles, ever, it's ridiculous! One of them was a two-part thing, so I have to go back in December to get the second half. I was a crying mess. I was shaking and bawling like a baby. My right arm got the shot that went into my muscle, so it was sore for a few days. The left arn got the other one, so it wasn't so bad. But still, I hate myself for being such a baby.

June 27th and 28th, 2012:
Flipping heat waves, enough said. Volleyball was hell because the gym felt like a million and two degrees F.

June 29th, 2012:
Because I was too much of a bloody, bawling mess on Wednesday, I had to go back to get bloodwork done on Friday. I was hyperventilating and shivering, and felt like I had a hangover afterwards (I've never been drunk or hungover, so I'm just using the word from what I've been told) because I was really dizzy. Then I went home and played with Delilah, so it was better

June 30th, 2012:
Got my late grandma's sewing machine back. It's from the 1950's (I think the guy at the Singer Store said 1955 was when they were manufactured), and hadn't been used in a good ten years or so, and it really needed some TLC. Me and my dad tried oiling it with 3-in-1 oil that you would use in cars... Bad idea. But the people over at the Singer Store fixed it up and now it runs perfect! After we took the sewing machine back, my dad and I went over to the diner and had lunch. Being in a fat-feeling mood, I got a salad with grilled chicken and honey mustard. It was pretty good and filling.

July 1st, 2012:
Felt like shit, so I literally slept all day. My mom woke me up for meals, but other than that, I slept like a baby.

July 2nd, 2012:
More shit-feeling, but less. My mom forced me to go to Kohls to get bras and shorts for camp, because I'm lacking proper shorts (they have to touch your thumbs or lower when your arms are at your sides...) and bras that actually fit me... Then I went home and slept more. I swear I'm becoming more and more like an owl... Or just a fat bear who hibernates during the summer.

So that is my life up until now. Hope you didn't fall asleep. My life isn't all fun and games, it's actually quite boring :\

Hope you stay cool in the heat! xx
-Unknown Athena

Monday, June 11, 2012

Feeling Better, Along With Other Things...


Completed my first Final of high school! This morning (at 8 in the morning) I had to go to school just to take a Global Final. To my surprise, I thought it was fairly easy. But, for all I know, I could have screwed everything up and got a zero.
As you can see, I'm kinda, sorta obsessed with memes at the moment. They're quite funny, sometimes. If any of you are on Instagram, follow edmemes . It's my wonderful take on my eating disorder. Follow at will :3
Also, I just got back from a bike ride with my twin brother. We don't usually get along all too well, but today, I guess we were on good terms and decided to take the bike trail. The bike trail in my town goes from one park to the other. It's around 5 miles altogether, but because my brother needed to go to basketball practice (he's crazy. going from biking to basketball with no break? idiot...), we only did around 4.5. Because I love my memes, here's another one, just for you:
Enjoy your Day!
-Unknown Athena

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Cold Showers are Wonderful...


...So I had a depression spell today after exersizing because my mom got all freaked out after jumping rope for 5 flipping minutes. Jumping rope for 15 minutes burns 166 calories, so I was all like, "F*ck yeah, I'm going back to second grade!". But NOOOOOOOOOOOO, I can't do anything but sit on my butt all day and mope and eat a sh!tload of carbs because even though I'm at a healthy weight of 125 lbs, I still can't burn a single calorie without my mom going ape-sh!t. It's ridiculous. I got so upset after she lecture-yelled at my that I took a 20-minute, freezing cold shower which consisted of my crying my eyes out in the fetal position on the shower floor while my mom was banging on the door saying I need to STFU or else she's sending me back to the hospital. Eventually, the cold shower calmed me down a bit and I got out and cleaned my room for two hours. I don't usually clean my room, but when I do, it's because I'm depressed as f*ck.
Hope your day's going better than mine...
-Unknown Athena

Sunday, June 3, 2012

I'm Such an Idiot Sometimes...

MY WEEKEND IN A NUTSHELL:
So my friend, let's call her K, hates me. I was being a stupid idiot, as always. The title of the post shouldn't even be "I'm Such an Idiot Sometimes", it should be, "I'm Such an Idiot All The Time". What happened was, we (Me, K, and some other friends) were chilling in the gym on Friday, and I said something completely stupid. She was talking about how nice my brother is, and even though I'm his sister (I naturally hate him), he is still unlikeable. He always tells me how ugly all my friends are, and how some of them look like elves, or a "fat" or whatever, so I wanted to tell K how it really is. I told her, and she flipped the shit on me. I couldn't even say anything I was so shameless. I really felt like cutting that night (and still do...) but I haven't yet. I really want to apologize on Monday but K is one of those people that either forget it the next day or hold a grudge against you for the rest of your life. Seeing that she declined to my Facebook invite for my 15th birthday party, she's probably going to hold a grudge against me for the rest of my life. What should I do? I'm so nervous that I feel sick!

Hope your weekends are going better than mine... If you're in the same boat I'm in, good luck on all your finals and Regents!
-Unknown Athena

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

OMGOMGOMGOMG I'M SORRY!

Woah I haven't posted here in quite awhile... Damn.... I'm really sorry :(! Anyways, the time I've been gone has been, interesting. Still in track. We had our first meet yesterday two towns over. Sadly, I sucked. Not even "bad day" sucked, sucked like the biggest failure ever. During the high jump, I couldn't even clear the first height of 4 feet! I literally had to hold back tears. At discus, I fouled all 3 tries. I couldn't get the discus in the lines, and the one time I did, I stepped out of the chalk circle by like, two inches.
Worst day? Yesterday. Even more terrible? Today. It's that terrible time of the month for me, and my cramps are so bad I couldn't even go to practice! Need some rest maybe, and lots of tea. Hope I don't loose weight from that :-/

Sorry for the short post. I'm tired and in pain and *cry* not a happy Goddess!
-Unknown Athena
P.S. On the brightside, I threw the discus a good 50-ish feet!