Tell It Like It Is!

I follow lots of blogs, and even though some of them can be a bit dreary and unhelpful towards my recovery, they are so true! I was reading one blog, called (Size) Zero Intentions, and one of her posts made me almost jump up and want to shout and run around and do happy dances. Though I have never experienced these "haters", I think they should leave. Now. Silent haters, I don't mind. Hate in your mind, not on the internet, or to anyone or anywhere else for that matter. Click here to read the post. She should get a cyber hug for that. I'm actually a pretty shy person in real life, but on the internet, I'm a lot more out there, if that makes any sense. I'm not as afraid to speak my mind as in school or at home where my twin brother judges me like there's no flipping tomorrow. I've probably said this a million times, but we are polar opposites. He's sporty, and I'm lazy. I get good grades, he's average. We're different.

On another (and happier) note, I got to finally go swimming at my friend's pool. It's been really really hot, so when she called me, I practically wanted to run to her house, even though it's on the other side of town. So I went swimming, and got some exercise in, even though I had biked a few miles before in the terrible heat. Hopefully I can build some muscle in camp so when volleyball season starts, maybe I'll be a starting player on the team. Only 6 are allowed on the court at a time, so it's a real jungle trying to get the coach to both like you and think you're good.

Don't die in the heat my darlings xx

-Unknown Athena

P.S. I feel lonely sometimes... Don't be afraid to comment! I like to know that someone out there reads this :)

Feeling Better, Along With Other Things...

Completed my first Final of high school! This morning (at 8 in the morning) I had to go to school just to take a Global Final. To my surprise, I thought it was fairly easy. But, for all I know, I could have screwed everything up and got a zero.

As you can see, I'm kinda, sorta obsessed with memes at the moment. They're quite funny, sometimes. If any of you are on Instagram, follow edmemes . It's my wonderful take on my eating disorder. Follow at will :3

Also, I just got back from a bike ride with my twin brother. We don't usually get along all too well, but today, I guess we were on good terms and decided to take the bike trail. The bike trail in my town goes from one park to the other. It's around 5 miles altogether, but because my brother needed to go to basketball practice (he's crazy. going from biking to basketball with no break? idiot...), we only did around 4.5. Because I love my memes, here's another one, just for you:

Enjoy your Day!

-Unknown Athena

Life: Updated

   Hey everyone, sorry about the absence in posting recently. Everything is either going to fast or too slow. School ends June 8th, but then we get smacked with Regents and Finals 'till the end of June. Track is going too fast. Track's ending this Wednesday for the JV-aged people, but I'm pretty sure it's still continuing on for the Varsity people. Our school's too cheap to have a JV team and a Varsity (and there's not a million kids doing track and field, so...) so we're all smushed together. Some meets it's everyone, some meets it's only freshman and sophomores.
   Anyways, I need to fill you in with my life. Gosh, I sound like one of those super-snotty fake-tanned steriotypical Westchester housewives -_________-. Whatever. Okay. Back to what I was saying, track's almost over, and I'm kinda sad. Yeah, I wasn't the best, but I sure as hell tried, and it was the only way I could exersize a lot and have it be okay with my mom. She's always on my tail. ALWAYS. I "forget" to eat yogurt or cereal or whatnot, and she thinks I'm restricting. I am, but I'm trying to be pretty darn descreet about it. Well, it's Mother's Day, so I can't complain. I made my mom French toast and coffee for her breakfast. My brother walked the dog for her at 6 in the morning. And my dad took us all out to eat for an early dinner. Sometimes I don't understand my mom and dad. They should hate each other (they're divorced!), but somehow they can still go out to eat with us and act like a normal, happy couple. They don't hug, or kiss, or hold hands, but it's still weird!

Happy Mother's Day Goddesses ;-) Give tus madres something to be happy about!

-Unknown Athena

Stupidity and Poor Planning

I had an idea. I wanted to have a party. Screw Valentines Day and everyone being all lovey dovey with their partners, I wanted to have a party. But no party for me. I planned to late. No one can come. Tears are falling down my face. I feel like a loser. This isn't good. The voices. They're coming back. In whispers, the tell me, "stop eating, it's not worth it. what's the matter, wus? have no friends to give you joy? hah! sucks, loser. hope you enjoy your worthless life, with no friends at your funeral. look, there are some knives just feet away from you. they're shiny. they'll make you feel good. that blood? yeah, that's the sign of a good time. you should try it. c'mon, don't be scared, you dumb-sh!t! you're not wanted anyway. hurting yourself is good. c'mon, we're waiting...". I'm going f*cking insane, aren't I? I can't enjoy this month t all. I'm single, loveless, unwanted, an outcast; I could go on and on and on. This isn't fun. Life isn't fun. I want to relapse but I can't get myself to commit. Gods, what the hell is the point of life if I can't even have friends to enjoy it with?

-Unknown Athena

New Motivation: PB + Pretzels = LOVE

Hey guys, so, I had an interesting Friday the 13th:
*I lost my iPod Touch
*My friend cracked her iPod Touch screen
*My other friend got morning detention on a G day, the one day where school starts about 45 minutes later than normal.

The good news is, I've located my iTouch. It's near my town's middle school, hopefully locked up in the main office, not some kid's locker. I absolutely flipped out when I lost it. It's not cheap, those Apple iPods. But I've e-mailed the school describing my iPod and if it's found, give it back! It has an engraving too, so that further supports it being mine. I hope I get it back soon!

On another note, I have more motivation to gain weight. My mom bought me those peanut butter-pretzel sandwich things that are the $h!t to end all $h!t. No joke, I'm addicted. I'm eating them as I type. Even though it's filled with fat (140 cals, 60 from fat; 7 grams fat, 2g sat. fat, 2 grams sugar and 4 grams protein per 9 sandwich serving), it's still addictive. Hopefully my weight goes up a bit so I can get those damn doctors off my tail. It's better than having butter, because at least I'm having a little bit of protein :-\ And only 2 grams of sugar! That's not as bad as having, I dunno, chocolate or something. I've had like, two and a half serving. Ulh, I feel fat. And tired. I slept legit, all day, but I'm still tired. Goodnight goddesses! Enjoy your three day weekends!

-Unknown Athena

3 Pounds...

I LOST 3 POUNDS I'M SO UPSET! Normally I would be happy about this but my nutritionist was going to say I would only come every other week or once a month for me! But then somehow I lost 3 pounds over winter break, despite the fact that I ate a ton of food. And no, it was not all diet "safe" foods. Think fat in fat in fat; that's what I felt like I was eating. This irritates me so much! Now I'm about 8 pounds below my goal weight of 125 lbs, not 5 pounds like it was before. Grr. And my "assignment" for the week is to use full-fat salad dressing. I hate having to eat fats, but I did it already. I just had some salad with full fat ranch dressing (Sucks to your as-mar now!! Sorry I say that a lot. Thanks Lord of the Flies...) Now I'm waiting for the main course for tonight: turkey meatloaf with sweet potato and carrots. Even though most people dislike meatloaf, it's not half bad. And because it's turkey meatloaf, it's a lot less fat then using beef. I don't eat beef, anyways. I literally had to pick out all the pieces of beef from my lasagna during my Christmas dinner. Usually I'm not a picky person but for my sanity I must!

Enjoy your evening everyone! Get some sleep to! We gods and goddesses need our beauty sleep, you know...

-Unknown Athena

P.S. I got an 83/100 on my essay for English. I'm so pissed off. I worked my a** off on that evil essay! I think I deserve better than an 83. Plus, it was the honors version of the essay. You need to get above a 93 to have an "H" next to the English 9 credit (H=Honors) on your transcript. Now it won't look as good! And I want to go to RISD for college, so I need every "H" I can get!