I hate this... A lot...

Does anyone feel the same way? About rejection, that is. R-E-J-E-C-T-I-O-N, rejection. By definition (taken from Wikipedia):
"... in psychology, an interpersonal situation that occurs when a person or group of people exclude an individual from a social relationship"
Doesn't it sound just lovely?... Not. I mean, it didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would be, because a few of my friends and even a bit of myself thought that I'd get rejected anyways, but still... How does one face the truth? I pretty much confessed! A re-worded freaking confession! Well, I said "as friends," so does it count as a confession? I hope not, or this could get awkward. At least it's not like I'm now part of a small section of those who've been rejected. A lot of people have been rejected, considering how many people have asked someone. Well, then again, it's just an 8th grade boat dance, nothing big, like Senior Prom :/...

-___-
Unknown Athena

P.S. I tried Chinese food for the first time in months! And I'm not talking about the diet menu, the REAL DEAL, covered-in-oil crap. And it actually tasted okay, until the guilt came in... Hate guilt...

"HANDS UP!"

Alright, I haven't posted in what, over a month?! I'm crazy, and I'm really sorry. But, I can explain. I actually have a few reasons, and maybe you'll understand a bit. Yes? No? Well then...

1) My laptop died. I'm not talking about the battery. It just died. It's being evil on me. But the poor thing's lived a long life since 2003. First it was my dad's laptop for work, and it got worked to death. Then somehow it became mine, and it was a pretty good laptop, nix all the Trogen-virus-things it's had in it's lifetime. But now, may it rest in peace... Until I can think of a way to fix it.

2) School. I have three regents to prepare for. A "Living Environment" Regent (A.K.A. a fancy-shancy way of saying "Biology"), an "Intergraded (Can't spell it...) Algebra" one, and a "Spanish 1" one. And I wasn't for school in two weeks (I'll explain in #3), so when I came back to school I was a dumb blond in Harvard; confused.

3) I relapsed. I relapsed, I relapsed I FREAKING RELAPSED. I didn't want to. I didn't even fully try. It just happened. And I went back. For three freaking weeks. And on the Monday of Spring Break, too. Life is just not fair my fellow cyber-surfers. Not. Effing. FAIR.

Every day at that "prison", I like to call it, was exasperatingly painful. I mean, I did have some fun times, coloring and making bracelets and playing dumb with the doctors, but in total, it pretty much sucked. And the last two days before my discharge, I was crying. I was in freaking HYSTERICS. I was so scared. Scared that I may relapse. Scared that I'd miss all the regents, or fail them. Or not go to the Boat Dance (the 8th grade equivalent of a prom), or even graduate middle school. The school that everyone graduates. But that was just me thinking of worst-case scenarios, so hopefully none of that happens. And I already got my boat dance dress, so if I can't go I may as well kill someone.

Happy Killings,
Unknown Athena

P.S. I'm really sorry, about not posting. The hospital doesn't have computers!!
P.P.S. In happy news, my apple plant is like, a foot tall. And has lots of leaves. YAY!!!

Vacation vacation....

So boring -_________- I should be doing homework, but remember, I said should, not like I will. Yet... Yeah, I should probably get to that at some point soon...

-Unknown Athena

P.S. How is everyone's vacation? Will anyone comment? I feel lonely :(

OMG, please kill meh now (not legit)

My mom, wants, me, in, the, hospital. I want to kill somebody, or something. Whatever. It's Passover, a holiday that I like, and can see my family. But no, she wants me gone. Damn. It. All. To. Hell. I'm not depressed anymore, and I've been eating like crazy the past three days. My breakfast must have been at least 800 calories or something. No more tea for me, I'm drinking hot cocoa. Yummy hot cocoa. My dad helped me write out a plan to turn it around on the phone this morning, so I have a smidgen of a chance that I'll be at my house for the Passover sader. (Yeah, I have no clue how to spell that...) How can I win this??

-Unknown Athena

I'm so scared, please help

I come home from a fun, happy sleepover. To what, you may ask? My mom on the phone, with my therapist, talking about possibly admitting me back; to the hospital. I think I may kill someone. Not literally, but you know what I mean. She then called my nutritionist, and talked for awhile. And since I was sad and knew I need to gain, I ate half a box of Trefoils and some hot cocoa. Maybe that was a bad idea, because now my mom thinks I'm going to be bulimic or something. But like I would throw up! That's so nasty. Just because your body does it, it's fine, but if you make yourself; that's nasty. And it can disintegrate your uvula, and decay your teeth. Yeah, that's gross. Don't do it, I've seem my fair share of pictures on the web. So can you help me? I'm going to have a "conference" (most likely them discussing me getting in while I cry or something stupid) on Monday. How do I gain so much weight without it looking suspicious?!

-Unknown Athena

National Day of Silence

Being me, I decided to go for this: National Day of Silence. This "holiday" is supposed to be an act against LGBT bullying by not saying anything at all. Thankfully I've been using a mini white-board to write all my expressions. It's so hard! And I'm only doing it for the school day. When the clock hits 2:50 pm, I'm FREE! 24 hours would be too hard, plus, I talked before I went to school. Is anyone else doing this? Or is it just me and my friends? -Unknown Athena

I think it's Spring

Yup. It's that glorious time again; Spring. The Dofodils are blooming, the purple and white flowers that I-can't-remember-the-name-of-it's are popping up, and it's sunny. Nice, and sunny. I even have my piggies out. I just love my personal lawn mowers :).

You know what I love about springtime? Track and Field. A.k.a. the best sport ever. I love the high jump, it's my favorite event. I got up to 4'6 last year. Me and this other girl were the only girls left at that point, with about 6 guys who were super tall. But now it's hard to love track.

Why, you may ask? Because I have yet to tell my nutritionist I'm in track. She'll probably flip when she hears I'm doing some form of "strenuous activity". It's fun, and I love it. It's a good excuse to get some fresh air. I'm even typing on my patio in the backyard. Hopefully my laptop's battery can keep up. For the past few days, I've been thinking of ways to break it to her. But what if she makes me quit? Or if I lost weight doing it?! I'm so nervous, even though she had said "I don't have any expectations for you". But what the heck does that mean?!?!?! So if I loose a pound she won't get mad? Or she just doesn't think I'm capable of gaining weight (even though it's kinda true...)? And why do I feel like I've had this rant to you guys (or girls... Whatever...) in a previous post? Meh...

What should I do? I don't want to give up the sport I love, but I don't want to go back to the hospital. Please help me, I'm basically desperate. And no, all you weird people out there, I'm not desperate in that way!!

-Unknown Athena

P.S. I had to re-pot, well, re-cup, the apple plant. It's growing so well! I put an old pencil in it to keep it from bending. I'm so happy!!