Valentines Day...

I actually had a very uneventful Valentines Day, as expected. If fat were a feeling though, I would have felt fat all day: I got chocolate from two friends, sweet-hearts (the one's with the odd sayings that make no sense... "Jump 4 Me"? Really? My friend scratched off the "4" so it said "Jump Me"... Very funny... Moving on...), cookies, rice-krispie treats, brownies... Oh, there is more, but I'm tired and sick and stressed and ULH JUST 2 MORE DAYS 'TILL BREAK! Did I tell you that my mom is ditching me to go to California with her friend for a week? Nice one, mom. Whatever, I'm going to Maine with a friend because apparentally it's illegal for me to stay home alone for a week (though re-inacting Home Alone 1 would be interesting).
Back to Valentines Day, I was sitting in Spanish with my guy friend, let's call him A, and finishing some print out or "photocopia" my teacher says. Then these two kids sitting on the other side of the classroom (the teacher was outside doing oral tests one by one), let's call then G and J, say "OMG JUST GO OUT ALREADY!". My response: "?"
I've never really thought about A that way. He's great, really. He's funny, smart, and understanding. But I can't get my mind around us "going out", whatever that means for a Freshman in high school. We can't drink, we can't drive, we can't even go to a resteraunt without having to have a parent drive us. It doesn't make sense! So now my face gets hot and I barely make out an excuse for not dating. A backs me up, too, saying "We're just friends" and all, but I can't stop thinking about it. It's so... Ack I can't even describe how weird that would be! Anyways, I'm not really a perfect girl for a relationship. For one thing, I have anorexia and depression. Secondly, I'm like a giraffe and my skin isn't 100% flawless. I'm not thin nor fat. Not smart nor dumb. I'm average. That word irks me. Average. It's not exeptional, but it doesn't suck. Like me.

How did everyone else's Valentines Days go? I hope they weren't as awkward as mine!

-Unknown Athena

May the Gods be with you... Despite it's corniness I like it!

Happy New Year!

Sorry this is a bit late, but, Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a splendid vacation (if you had one) and ate lots of yummy foods and had lots of fun. I went to my grandpa's house, then went to my great aunt & uncles house, then went back to my grandpa's house. Slept there. Went home. It was pretty good, I think. I got to see my cousins whom I haven't seen in awhile (by awhile I mean at least 2-3 years), and some other relatives.

We had super-Italian food; lasagna (I had to pick out the pieces of meat because I don't eat red meat), eggplant parm., salad with Italian dressing, ham, chicken, and a hell-of-a-lot-of dessert. There were cookies, upon cookies upon cookies; cakes and cupcakes and pie and tea and coffee and tarts and chocolates and chocolate dipped fruits and carbs alike. It was crazy. Oh, and grapes. Good ol' grapes. I had a ton of them, since they were one of the healthier choices. My mom was so mad when I came home and told her that. She was all like "You should've had more cake and pie and cookies! You need to gain weight!". My response: "I KNOW ALREADY!". It's true. I know I need to gain weight, but knowing and acting are two very different things.

Hope you all have some new years resolutions! I'll post mine sometime soon!

-Unknown Athena

So scared, EEP!

I'm nervous. It's Christmas Eve. I'm going to my grandpa's house, and it may be his last. He's 87 years old, and though I hate to think about it, he may not be around much longer. Also, my dad is cooking. We were originally going to go out to a diner to eat (where I could get a salad with grilled chicken or some other healthy alternative to greasy-fatty food), but apparently the diner closes at 3 pm, so now I'm going to have to keep my cool while consuming 1500+ calories from my dads completely authentic Italian food. He uses whole-milk cheeses and everything. Olive oil (it's good for you, but I'm still fearing those damn lipids), whole milk cheese, fried chicken cutlets... Oh Gods! I really hope I can pull through. I'm seeing family who have heard about my anrexia-episode too, so they're probably going to force me to eat a lot. EEP HELP ME! I'm worried!

-Unknown Athena

P.S. This probably won't post because I'm using my mom's laptop and my brother will never get off the "family" computer, so this may or may not go up after I actually wrote the post. Sorry Gods and Goddesses :(

P.P.S. Happy Holidays everyone!

Just keep Typing, Just keep Typing...

Hey all! Currently in in school working on an English research project. I just finished the things I had to do, but now there's nothing else I need to do here! I gave out a lot of gifts today, and my friends are really happy. One of them was tearing up, which made me tear up. Don't you love the feeling when someone is genuinely happy with what you did? I've just experianced another first, and it feels really sweet! Last night I stayed up untill 11:30 pm making snickerdoodles and cards for my friends. My really good friends got scarves and hats that I made them, and now they're wearing them around school! :) I'm so happy beyond belief! And it's almost Christmas. Last Christmas I was in the hospital, which sucked arse. But this year, that's not going to happen. I will stay strong and fight the ED! For Christmas I'm going to see my dad's family (he's the Christian one, my mom's Jewish), which will be interesting. Some of them I haven't seen in over two years. Two freaking years! I miss them a lot. I can't wait to see them! Oh, and happy 3rd night of Hannukah to those who celebrate :) My family finished the latkes me and my mom made last night; they were really good! We baked them instead of frying them, so they're way less fattening ^___^.

If I don't write until after Christmas, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and a wonderful New Year!

-Unknown Athena

OMG I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN SO LONG I'M SO SO SOOO SORRY!

So, my laptop's being a piece of poop... Again. My dad had spend MONTHS trying to fix it, but now it keeps crashing, so after an extremely long time of finding the moment when my brother's NOT on the computer, he finally gets up and does something productive (A.K.A. taking a shower). So now I am back for now, and I may post at will. The rest of November was good for me. Thanksgiving was small; my two cousins and aunt came over. It wasn't much but I made the stuffing myself ^^, and I made pumpkin pie pudding, which came out pretty good. Did I mention this stuff already to you guys? Sorry if I did...



And now it is December; the month of holidays; and shopping, and well... Getting fat. I'm getting a bit nervous for when Hanukkah comes around (fried latkes... *gulp*), and Christmas (my big fat Italian Christmas dinner = 12 courses... and dessert, can't forget that!), and New Years Eve (thank the Gods I don't drink and am underage!!). So I may gain (or drop) a few pounds, which means my groups of "-ists" will not be very happy. Or they'll be jumping with joy. Either way, it's gonna be a rough month.



But on the bright side, I just finished wrapping my pet's gifts: two "Nylabones" and a little bag of treats for Delilah, a toy and bird seed-treat-thing of Sunshine (my kamikaze-esque parakeet), and a nut/fruit/veggie treat for each of my two guinea pigs; Pookie and Miley. I honestly don't want much for Christmas, so I'm not going to ransack the house with my twin brother to look for our gifts this year. Last year was.... Different, so I'm going to get super-duper festive this holiday season! I even helped put up and decorate the tree, and make the train tracks around the tree. My dad was over and he put batteries in the old train cars... The ones that used batteries, anyways. Out of the twenty-or-so that my parents kept from my brother's childhood, only two were electric and could move themselves. The rest are wooden and have chipped paint. I feel so old when I look at them, but I'm only 14 years old! Eep!

-Unknown Athena

(P.S. This was written a week ago, but it wouldn't post, so...)

Sorry!!

'Kay, so a few things. One, I'm SO SORRY I haven't posted in like, a week and a half. I've been getting bombed with a bunch of homework, which is living hell. DO the teachers understand we have a life to live here? Seriously, it pisses me off. I have math homework and English homework almost every night. And my Spanish teacher, don't get me started. He's so annoying. He talks to us like we've never spoken Spanish before. We're in Spanish 2 for a reason! :|

Another thing, it's snowing. Snowing. In October. What is this madness?! And it's not that nice, fluffy snow, it's that icky wet snow that is living hell to drive in. I had to withstand giving my mom reassurence for an hour and a half driving less than five miles from our house because 1) she hates driving, 2) she hates driving in icky weather, and 3) she's really emotional and curses like there's no tomorrow when the brakes don't work. I'm seriously wondering how we didn't crash (we were pretty damn close though...). How is everyone supposed to trick-or-treat on Monday? My mom says the snow's gonna melt and the temperature's supposed to warm up, but still. It just doesn't feel right. This feels like the beginning of the end of the world. I've never seen snow fall before Thanksgiving, so when it snows before Halloween, well that's just plain strange. Does anyone else agree with me?

-Unknown Athena

P.S. This is kinda random, but do any of you believe that the world's going to end in 2012?
P.P.S. I tried my Ensure Plus warmed up in the microwave today. It surprisingly tasted a lot better then when it's served cold! So weird!!

New Year

Happy New Year to those who celebrate this lovely holiday! Tomorrow I'm going to my first-ever service! Well, I went to one before, maybe three years ago or something, but it was just a normal Saturday night one. I can't wait! I had a phase where I was totally mortified with the idea of death and no sort of afterlife (and still kinda do...), so I feel that trying out different religions can help me find one that I like best. I'm half Jewish-half Christian, but I like the idea of polytheism because to me, it's not fair that one being gets to rule everything. I feel that is unfair. How did they decide this? Why were we not included? That's my personal opinion, hate on it if you want :\

Have a great four-day-weekend!!
-Unknown Athena

El gasp... I haven't written in a while...

... So, fellow web-surfers...

Hey. What's up?...

Happy Fourth of July!

I know, I haven't written in like, 2 weeks, but hey, I'm back, for now. I'm going to camp on July... Something-th. Maybe the 24th, but seriously, I have no freaking idea. I still haven't been "cleared" for camp, but hopefully tomorrow I am when I go back to the doctors. The stupid doctor-lady was all like, "I want to see your weight go up before I let you go to camp", and in my head I was like, "Well sucks for you I'm going to camp no matter what the hell you throw at me". Legit. If she threw a dead fish at me I'd still go... Or I'd attack her... And probably get injected with Ativan by the cops...

Today shouldn't be a day for getting drunk, having barbeques and scaring Delilah (my dog) with firecrackers and fireworks. It really was the day we declared our independence from Great Britain, or so everyone says so. It was actually declared on the 2nd, and supposedly it was actually signed on August 2nd, 1776. See how our history is messed up? We lie! Alright, maybe there were actual reasons why we don't have Independence Day on the 2nd of July, but for right now I'm disregarding that.

On a brighter note, I walked Delilah with my mom on the path on the River. The sun was nice, there were lots of dogs, and people, oh, and a dead fish, random but true. And, even better, I was stalking a wind-surfer. Just kidding I was just taking pictures 'cause I was really tired and bored after awhile.

Happy 4th *cough cough 2nd* of July! Don't get too drunk!
-Unknown Athena

OMG, please kill meh now (not legit)

My mom, wants, me, in, the, hospital. I want to kill somebody, or something. Whatever. It's Passover, a holiday that I like, and can see my family. But no, she wants me gone. Damn. It. All. To. Hell. I'm not depressed anymore, and I've been eating like crazy the past three days. My breakfast must have been at least 800 calories or something. No more tea for me, I'm drinking hot cocoa. Yummy hot cocoa. My dad helped me write out a plan to turn it around on the phone this morning, so I have a smidgen of a chance that I'll be at my house for the Passover sader. (Yeah, I have no clue how to spell that...) How can I win this??

-Unknown Athena

National Day of Silence

Being me, I decided to go for this: National Day of Silence. This "holiday" is supposed to be an act against LGBT bullying by not saying anything at all. Thankfully I've been using a mini white-board to write all my expressions. It's so hard! And I'm only doing it for the school day. When the clock hits 2:50 pm, I'm FREE! 24 hours would be too hard, plus, I talked before I went to school. Is anyone else doing this? Or is it just me and my friends? -Unknown Athena