Crack

   Today was interesting, it had it's ups and downs. I guess the only thing I'll share today was in health class. Don't get me wrong, I love health class, and the teacher (she's WONDERFUL!), but today, I cracked a bit.

   Even though I've patched up the pieces of myself from my eating disorder a while ago, I couldn't help but feel my throat tighten and tear up when we got to the topic of eating disorders. Of course, I knew almost as much (if not equally) about eating disorders as my teacher, and I know I should ignore it, but then she said, "eating disorders never fully go away from the mind", I started crying a bit. Luckily, she didn't notice a thing.

   At lunch, I felt fat as f*ck from that (I have health right before lunch two out of the eight days in my school's cycle), so when I went to the local coffee shop to get hot cocoa, I ordered a small rather than a large, with skin milk, and no marshmallows or whipped cream. It tasted okay, but my sh!tty body image made it taste worse. The fact that I felt the need to order a more diet-y version of my favorite drink made me feel like sh!t.

On a brighter note, I only have maybe three to four hours of homework this weekend, then studying! Party! -____-

 

Stay Strong and Carry On xx,

Unknown Athena

Welcome Back!

Hey everyone, so today was my first day back at high school. I'm a sophomore... Woah. My classes were okay, but only 20 minutes long because we had a 2-hour delay (so the freshmen can get used to school by doing various activities with their "Big Buddies"), advisory groups, and an asembly. I already have a ton of homework, and it's crazy. I still need colored pencils for AP World, Chemistry and Spanish 3. I'm pretty confused. I'm in 10th grade, not 1st!

Oh, and volleyball is tough. School ends at 2:50 p.m., and volleyball practice is from 3-6p.m. It was really hot and humid, and after running around and playing, I was literally drenched in sweat. Hey, at least it's exercise!

Welcome Back Everybody!

-Unknown Athena

Valentines Day...

I actually had a very uneventful Valentines Day, as expected. If fat were a feeling though, I would have felt fat all day: I got chocolate from two friends, sweet-hearts (the one's with the odd sayings that make no sense... "Jump 4 Me"? Really? My friend scratched off the "4" so it said "Jump Me"... Very funny... Moving on...), cookies, rice-krispie treats, brownies... Oh, there is more, but I'm tired and sick and stressed and ULH JUST 2 MORE DAYS 'TILL BREAK! Did I tell you that my mom is ditching me to go to California with her friend for a week? Nice one, mom. Whatever, I'm going to Maine with a friend because apparentally it's illegal for me to stay home alone for a week (though re-inacting Home Alone 1 would be interesting).
Back to Valentines Day, I was sitting in Spanish with my guy friend, let's call him A, and finishing some print out or "photocopia" my teacher says. Then these two kids sitting on the other side of the classroom (the teacher was outside doing oral tests one by one), let's call then G and J, say "OMG JUST GO OUT ALREADY!". My response: "?"
I've never really thought about A that way. He's great, really. He's funny, smart, and understanding. But I can't get my mind around us "going out", whatever that means for a Freshman in high school. We can't drink, we can't drive, we can't even go to a resteraunt without having to have a parent drive us. It doesn't make sense! So now my face gets hot and I barely make out an excuse for not dating. A backs me up, too, saying "We're just friends" and all, but I can't stop thinking about it. It's so... Ack I can't even describe how weird that would be! Anyways, I'm not really a perfect girl for a relationship. For one thing, I have anorexia and depression. Secondly, I'm like a giraffe and my skin isn't 100% flawless. I'm not thin nor fat. Not smart nor dumb. I'm average. That word irks me. Average. It's not exeptional, but it doesn't suck. Like me.

How did everyone else's Valentines Days go? I hope they weren't as awkward as mine!

-Unknown Athena

May the Gods be with you... Despite it's corniness I like it!